Dad died and we are having a Mass before he goes back to Ireland

[oldmum22]

I am really struggling with the loss of my lovely Dad last week. He was in his 90s and had been admitted to hospital with a minor complaint. Sadly, he didn't respond to medication and within a short space of time deteriorated so much he received palliative care . My parents are Catholics(I am lapsed) and we are having a requiem Mass and then Dad is being flown to Ireland for another Mass and burial. I am finding this really hard. I want to do everything he requested and support my Mum but I feel so broken. The thought of two Mass events and the burial is traumatic. I think Mum is taking comfort from the church but all I see is the reality of Dad in a coffin and it scares me. I was with him when he went and I was lucky to hold his hand and comfort him but I feel so confused.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad, it must be such a shock for your family.

Did your dad have a parish priest he spoke highly of? It may be worth speaking to them about the detail of your dads arrangements, especially around the laying out. The funeral directors were very kindly, but you will be in understandable shock at this point - the ritual of it carries you through to a certain extent but I can hear the grief and sadness in your post.

Do you have support other than your mum?

No wise words, but sending you a hug and a handhold. May he rest in peace

Sorry to hear this from what I've read about Irish Catholics it's very popular to have a really good Wake to celebrate their life after the funeral and remember all the little stories about them. Are you doing anything like that? Maybe focusing on his life and what he was like as a younger man would be of some comfort?

Thank you for your kind words . Today I woke up feeling sad and at a loss but I have spoken with other members of the family and realise I am not alone. I don't think he would have wanted me to be so sad but I will find my way. Thank you for giving me some comfort xx