I never got on with my dad growing up. He was a very angry man and directed his anger at me. Since he's gotten older, he's mellowed out a lot. My mum died a few years ago and I'm struggling to maintain a relationship with my dad because we never really had one.
I feel bad because he's all on his own and I want to be there for him but he makes it so difficult. When I go home, he refuses to let me do anything in the house (because he doesn't trust me to do it properly like clean) and then complains about how messy I am so I don't go back that much anymore.
I used to try to call him regularly (something I'd never done while my mum was alive as I'd just call her) but at the end of each call, he'd say 'Oh, you don't have to call me'. So I stopped and then the next time I visited him, he complained I never called him. I spoke to him the other day and he was moaning that something in the house was broken and either me or my sister was supposed to sort it out but hadn't done it. When I said I didn't know anything about it, he didn't believe me. So, I just flipped and told him how does he expect us to call him if all he does is tell us off and he said he wasn't telling us off.
He's also constantly saying he's probably going to die soon like my mum. Like any time you ask him how he is.
I know he's grieving and lonely but I can't deal with all this passive aggressive BS and then I feel guilty because I end up shouting at him. It's not just me how acts like this with him but my sister too.
Anyone been through the same thing or has any advice?