One year ago today my beautiful Mam died and I miss her so much.
She was diagnosed with bowel cancer in October 2016 and we were told without chemo we were looking at 6 months, with chemo it could maybe be 2 years. Unfortunately there were complications with her central line so chemo wasn't to be. On March 22nd 2017 she went into our local Marie Curie Hospice and seemed to be doing better than ever. March 28th, she was fully sedated due to the pain and even then she fought the sedative and she passed away at 5am March 29th 2017 with just me by her side.
She has missed so much in this passed year of my life but mainly my wedding last July, as she wouldn't let me bring it forward because she didn't want it to be about here on my day.
Some days still, I go to pick up the phone to call her and have to stop myself. I still talk about it like she's here because acknowledging the fact that she isn't is just too hard...
I don't really know why I'm posting, other than to get it all out somewhere...
I'll be going to the crem later with some flowers for her and then we are travelling to a wedding so I have a good distraction today when all I really want to do is stay in bed and avoid the world - I can't because she would be the first to tell me off!
I miss you mammy, you were my whole world and my best friend and I can't believe it's been a year already without you.