Am I expecting too much of myself

[Bugsareinthebrook]

It's 10 weeks today since my Mum died. I was off work for the first 5 weeks because of the bereavement but also because I had a very bad viral wheezy chest that took a long time to get over. I'm back at work now and finding it so hard. I am up and down so much.
Motivation is difficult and just don't feel resilient.
My son has had some issues with bullies last week and although school are dealing with it my anxiety is through the roof.
I suffer from anxiety and manage it most of the time - I don't take medication but have had CBT which has helped.

My Dad is a narcissist and I find it very hard. He refuses to ring anyone (always has) and expects to be called and when I do call him it's all about him. He isn't interested in the way I feel or in giving me any support. This is having the opposite effect on me and just driving me away which in turn feeds my anxiety and guilt.
He told me that my mum was dying and that I needed to come to hospital straight away by text - just feels like no respect and makes me feel I am unreasonable to be upset by this.

I am worried that I am on a slippery slope down but then am I just expecting too much of myself in regards to feeling ok?

Hope that all makes sense

Thanks

My sympathies on your loss; losing your mum is hard. With that, the bullies and your ill-health it’s not surprising it’s had an effect on you. Your dad has drained your reserves and you’re trying to run on empty. Leave him to himself for a while and look after yourself first.

I haven't spoken to him for over a week and really don't feel like I want to.
I should also say that I have had thrush for nearly 7 weeks too so must be very run down. I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere with the doctors and just feel rubbish.
Thank god its nearly Easter weekend but then Dad will feel sorry for himself that no one is visiting