Am completely lost today

[annandale]

I am just lost today. Don't know what to do. Everyone feels out of reach. Can't hold it together. Can't talk, for the first time since dh died, somehow writing is OK though. Ds will be back from volunteering in 30 minutes and I have to get it together by then. Crying and sad but in a lot of pain. Met with my boss today about going back to work in ten days. Definitely drank too much last night seeing a friend, but had long walk with other friend in the morning and don't think I am hungover any more. Tormented by sexual feelings. Having a really heavy period and feeling exhausted. All too much.

and a handhold for you OP, it's so hard I know.

Be kind to yourself @annandale. There's no 'right' way to feel or act when grieving. You're doing your best

How are you doing today?

Better overall today - I think realistically I was still a bit hungover yesterday even in the evening [must try not to self medicate with alcohol]. However, it's still not great. went to another family memorial service today, though thank goodness a more distant one. All a bit too emotional.