Doing fine (I think) but some things seem pointless

[thanksjaneshusbandatcaresouth]

My dad died peacefully at home on Thursday after a long illness.

I was his advocate for many years. Mum was his devoted carer though their marriage was just as stormy in its last decade as the others....

The things that seem real are my own family, other people’s suffering music (dad and I both arranged music on a semi professional basis and we talked about it more in his later years though he didn’t get involved in my childhood).

But my main job seems really pointless busy-making nonsense. I can’t take the responsibilities seriously.

Any ideas? Thoughts?

Sorry for your loss but I don’t really understand the question 😐

So sorry for your loss.
It's a hard time and nothing seems to be as important as how you are feeling.
What's worrying you?
Explain to us again.

You’re kind to reply.

I guess I don’t know what I’m asking. Sorry!

I nursed my son through cancer and he died aged 18. I nursed my mum at the end of her life just a year later. When you have lost a loved one other normal things do seem pointless. I believe it is part of the shock of bereavement. I felt I was numb to most things for a long time.

Things still seem pointless at times. My job doesn't make anyone better, I don't teach children, nurse anyone, save the world from pollution. I'm not in politics that might change lives for people. But I earn a living, I pay my way, I provide for my other son - that has to be my point. The other stuff - sometimes I'm glad for the monotony, the pointless ness of it as it takes less energy from me.

So sorry for your loss. I lost my father a couple of months ago in very tragic circumstances.

I think what you are feeling is completely normal and just part of grief. I felt exactly the same.

It's very odd when everything goes on as normal around you, and your world has stopped.

It has taken weeks, but the fog has lifted now and things are getting easier. I can work some of the time properly now, although still having complete zombie moments.

Please don't worry about or question it too much - your grief will continue to evolve and change and surprise you, but it does get easier.

Thank you both that is very helpful.