Narcissistic mother??

[crabbiepattie]

So I recently lost my father at the young age of 63. That was 5 months and 11 days ago.
My mum and dad divorced when I was 7. So that's like 28 years ago. I didn't ha e the best relationship with my father but losing a parent isn't any easier with a strained relationship.
Went for luch with my mum today and such as life...got a phonecall off the coroner regarding dad's cause of death.
I took the phone call half way through lunch with mum, but away from the dinner table. Came back to the table and told mum who had phoned. Her response was to start talking about the time that her Mum (my nain) had passed away.
She does this a lot. Turns every situation or problem to it being her going through the same situation but 10 times worse.

AIBU to think that she is a narcissist and that real sympathy will never come from her?

Hi Crabbie - so sorry for your loss. l lost my Dad last year and it's so so tough.

I hear you in saying that about your Mum. Although my parents weren't divorced, their's was a very rocky relationship and since my Dad passed away my Mum has been very similar in her responses to things like you mention - she often changes the subject or turns it into being about her - sort of "if that's how you feel, imagine what it's like for me" type of thing. Which is just so unhelpful and painful as it leaves you feeling so isolated and I always thought she would/should be the one person I could turn to for support.
It's not unreasonable at all to expect support from her, she is your mother after all, but I've sort of come to realise with my Mum and maybe with yours too, that in their own strange way, it's just how they're grieving. I've got counselling and more often turn to my sisters of my husband or friends for support. It doesn't always come exactly how and when you need it, but I sort of found it better to not keep trying to get it from my Mum and feel constantly let down because she always turned it into being about her.
Sending hugs
x