Is my reading ok?

[expatmatt78]

So as per previous threads I have recently lost my father in law (step!) who I adored and was great pals with.
As they are overseas, DH is there now but unable to stay for funeral, so i am flying there for that to support DMIL.
They have asked me to speak, It is going to be hard. I wrote alot of really long stuff with detailed memories, Then I said to DH I would read something generic and he seemed like he really wanted me to say something personal and said i was there representing him and on behalf of DMIL. So i was ok to write something but had to keep it short as I know I will be emotional and want to make sure I can deliver it. Would like your feedback:

I am honoured to speak about my good friend X on behalf of MIL, her children DP and DSIL, her grandchildren, DN, DN, DC and DC and on behalf of BIL and myself to whom he was an unofficial father in law but mostly just our great friend.

I had started this by writing pages and pages of anecdotes about him and all the laughs we shared but those are for another time. It would take a lot of words and stories to express how special he was, so suffice to say that X was an entirely unique, smart, kind funny, thoughtful, irritating, talented man. I’ve never met anyone quite like him – and we all have our memories of him turning up in some crazy outfit, making up songs, or doing something for us that made us feel special.

DH once told me the thing that made him most happy was seeing how much X made his DM laugh and really it was obvious that that was his main aim in life.

To the four children, he was adored by them all and was a wondrous and constant source of fun, never tired of playing with them and let them all get away with murder – no wonder I never saw him stay up later than 8.30 after a day with the kids.

Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs, the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to make you smile and who love you no matter what.

You never expect to be saying goodbye so I am eternally grateful that I told X how special he was to me, to (DH) and our children and that he was undoubtedly family to us. This wasn’t something he ever took for granted and MIL used to say he just loved being around us all. So I am happy I told him that we loved being around him too.

Thanks expat. I'm trying not to overthink it! I keep going back and re-reading it and worrying about it offending her parents. Her little boy will be there too.

It's funny as I'm terrified of public speaking and I've been on a mission to get over this fear this year and now I've been given the ultimate test! The worst will probably happen and I'll fall apart but the silver lining is that any public speaking I have to do for work after this will be a piece of piss!

When is the funeral? I'll post my eulogy later on once I've got it right!

Hope it goes well @langkaw thinking of you!
I'm waiting for my flight right now funeral Wednesday morning
Totally dreading it and v emotional! Hopefully a couple of wines and I'll sleep on the flight in any case

@expatmatt78 oh I hope it all goes well. Dig deep! I'm doing mine tomorrow as well. Total jitters here about the reading mixed with feeling totally sad. It's going to be a tough day. X

I got through it. Had to pause after first paragraph and try and compose myself. I couldn't listen to much before my turn as I knew if I got upset before I went up then I'd never be able to do it. I was able to let go after.
But I'm so so happy that I did it I feel proud that I did and spoke of our love for him and represented my DH and family who were unable to be there. I was shaking like a leaf with the sheer effort by the end. Hope yours went well x

@expatmatt78 aaah so glad it went well. I also pulled it out of the bag. I knew I had to get it right and just do it. I had a shaky voice but didn't cry and actually surprised myself with how well I did as I thought I'd break down.

The minute I sat down though was a different story as that's when I fell apart. Feel like I've been hit like a truck today.

Well done. You should be proud of yourself. It's a privilege to speak about someone at a funeral and it sounds like you did him proud. I'm just so glad that I did it. Sending you love. X