What to wear for funeral.

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I knkw that this might be a bit of an odd thing to worry about, but I am worrying so please be gentle. DF died recently and my DC want to attend the funeral. What can i appropriately dress Dd aged 10 in? She would wear jeggings, a sports top and heeleys if I let her. She hasn’t worn a dress for a couple of years. Do children still wear black at funerals?

When DD was 10, DFIL died and I forced her into a grey tunic dress, dark tights and her clean dark runners (she doesn't have school shoes - just runners). As SOON as the church service was over, she wanted to change back into grey jeans and a plain dark top (she lives in tracksuits), which we did allow. TBH, she never wore that dress again.

As long as DCs are clean and respectably dressed, I don't think there's a need to wear black or a dress.

If your DD has a pair of clean, neat (no rips) jeans and a plain-ish top (sober, dark colour but not necessarily black - but not wild pink for example), with no or a small pattern on it, that should be fine.

Sorry about your DF. For your Dd at age 10 I'd say personally her school skirt/trousers (whichever she has) from her uniform and shoes and a dark top (doesn't have to be black IMO) a sober colour is fine, just nothing too bright.

Louise

Thanks very much for your replies. I don’t think that bright colours or pink are going to be much of a worry. I t would be easier to get her into a dress

Sorry for your loss. I put a smart black playsuit on my 10 year old (not all black, the shorts were coloured spots) and black tights for my Mums funeral. I didn't want her completely in black and it was a nice one that Mum had bought her so I knew she had liked it.

It’s not about your DD or what she wants. It’s about respect for the situation. You need to teach her this. She doesn’t have to wear black, but should be soberly and respectfully dressed.

I realise that thank Crafty I was sort of more asking for ideas

I wore bright red to Aunties funeral. She hated dark colours and loved anything bright and colourful.

If she doesn't have anything plain to wear then school uniform trousers/skirt with a plain coloured t shirt will be fine. Did your df have a favourite colour? Could she wear a t shirt/top of that colour?

What about something purple? Not quite as solemn as black. A skater dress over leggings maybe?

Just soberly coloured clothes and appropriate footwear. What about a darkish tunic top with leggings and boots?

My kids wore smart jeans and shirts to my husband's funeral (the same clothes they wore to our wedding 10 months before). Ds2's (11yo at the time) shirt was bright red.

Does anyone actually care what the still living are wearing?

I personally think smart, plain clothes should be worn - it shows respect.
I would say dark leggings, a smart top such as a tunic or blouse would be fine in your daughter’s case - as long as everything looked clean/ironed/not scruffy etc.

I have had some close family members die and didn’t care what anyone wears. I’d rather someone was comfortable rather than worrying about showing ‘respect’. Isn’t a funeral about saying goodbye to the deceased? You can do that wearing anything.

Smart clean but not overly 'in your face' clothes would be perfectly acceptable. Honestly anyone who frowns about the clothes a child is wearing to a funeral needs to have a word with themselves. When my DM died I was quite clear to close family that the days of black funeral clothes had gone and not to worry about things like that.

Cross posted with NerrSnerr who said in a better way what I was trying to say.

When my DF died I did dress DD in a dark blue dress but she was only a year old so didn't have much say in the matter! My siblings and I all wore black but we tend to day-to-day anyway, DB's DP wore a big fugly purple jumper because my DF had bought it for her. I was actually really touched. I DGAF what people were wearing, tbh.

Very sorry for your loss. I know it hurts like hell