Grandma has gone

[TashieWoo]

Hi, I don’t know what I want to achieve by posting, maybe I just need an outlet for my emotions. Feeling so sick and shaky.

My lovely grandma died during the night, she had dementia and had been living with my parents and I for the last five years. We lost my grandpa almost eight years ago.

She was 93 and had been going downhill since August maybe, then had been unwell for the last two weeks, swallowing problems etc. She was supposed to be going onto palliative care today but staying at home. My mum went down to her room at 8am and she was gone. She looked so peaceful, had just gone to sleep and not woken up. Eyes closed etc, with a hint of a smile. I felt ok and we were all grateful that she’d died peacefully. Her lovely carer whose been coming to help with bedtime for the last five years came to see her, then we waited a few hours for the doctor and another couple of hours for the undertakers.

Now the undertakers have gone it has hit me. I feel sick, I’m shaking and I can’t concentrate on anything. I have deadlines for work to meet this week and that is stressing me out, although my boss is being brilliant as always. I emailed him early this morning to say I wanted to work from home today (I do that a few days a week anyway as we don’t have a set office) as I thought it was going to be her last ‘awake’ day before the nurses sedated her, but that wasn’t meant to be.

I was there when the doctor and undertakers came and took her away. They were all very kind and professional. I had never seen a human body before but it wasn’t as ‘scary’ as I thought it would be. She just looks peaceful. I’ll probably go to see her in the chapel of rest before the funeral, which won’t be until mid-March as they are busy.

I am trying to be strong for my mum, who is just being very brave at the moment. She isn’t one to cry or show her emotions but I think she is feeling numb. She has been the most fantastic carer to my grandma and I admire her so much.

I guess I just had to let this out. I am a MN lurker really but post occasionally, and you are such a supportive community.

I'm sorry to read this, but your grandma passed away peacefully, in her bed being cared for by the people she loved, and who loved her.

Oh so sorry to hear this. It is v hard i know, as my dad died at home 3 weeks ago. My brother and i nursed him at the end of a horrible illness and like your mum i am numb about it all. It is natures way i guess. You are bound to be shaky and need to be v kind to yourself and take it easy. Dont stress over work if you can help it and take it one day at a time.
How lovely your dear gran had a loving family and was able to slip away in peace. There is a lot of comfort in that i think.
I am so sorry for your oain and that of your mum and wider family. Sending a hug of support . X

Thank you @flapjackfairy and @knittedfaries, I am definitely comforted by the fact she died at home peacefully.

Sorry for your recent loss @flapjackfairy, it is so hard. Just being listened to helps. I’m apprehensive about the coming weeks but we will just have to get through it

So sorry for your loss, Tashie, especially as your DGM had been so very much part of your everyday life for so long.

Be comforted by knowing she died in a place full of love with those she loved and was loved by.

Many