Help me process this please

[sprockercrazy]

My wonderful brother died very unexpectedly just over 3 years ago this month..

He was only 48 years old

I have just found out today that his widow is getting remarried and I feel so angry. Really almost irrationally angry.

I do not have any contact with his widow - she is a very toxic person who made it very clear that she didn't like any of his family from day 1 and refused to give us family heirlooms that my DB bequeathed my DC (his only niece and nephews , he didn't have any DC of his own and their heirlooms had a lot of sentimental value for our family but meant nothing to her)

How can she have moved on so quickly ??

I'm sorry to hear about your brother. I'm sure his widow remarrying is stirring up all your loss again. It's odd, I was thinking this morning that you can (if you are lucky) find another spouse, but not another dad. We lost my dad Monday morning, and obviously mum is the chief mourner, and yet...

So sorry for your loss too.
You're right parents and siblings can never be replaced (I lost my DF 12 years ago this month and nobody could ever replace him or my DB) but I suppose spouses can.. it just seems so quick

Sorry for your loss.

If she's still childbearing age could she be keen to have a family? Could that be it?

That's sad about the heirlooms.

I'm sorry about your brother.
I'm not sure that there you can specify a 'right' time for anyone and your feelings about your SIL/ family heirlooms are affecting your emotions.

You say she is toxic and to you this 'moving on' is magnifying that opinion and validating what you already thought (I'm not saying it is right or wrong)

Ultimately, it doesn't mean she loved your brother any less, and whatever will be, will be.

You feel how you feel, but possibly your anger towards her relates to much more than her finding someone new. Did she negatively affect your relationship with your brother? Did you see less of him as a result of her actions? All of this will (I think) make you harbour resentment and it is possible that you don't want her to find some happiness because of the pain she has caused you.

What I can tell you for certain is that grief is such a personal journey and anger is part of that. Anger is so destructive and I do hope you find peace.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP.

On a practical note, when you bequeathed, did your brother do so in a will? In which case those items legally do have to be given as intended. Doesn't sound like there would be any love lost if you were to start a legal route.