Has anyone else become massively anti-social since losing a loved one?

[capturingdaydreams]

I've always been a bit on the introverted side but always enjoyed seeing friends and going out but now even that is a struggle since my mum died 18 months ago. I spend a lot of time on my own now.

Anyone else?

I did after my father died, but realised after a couple of months that I needed some help so I found a really good counsellor.

I felt quite conflicted about quite a few family-related things, and need to start to work them through. And yes, I miss my dad, warts and all.

It also helped me with some other anxiety - I'm glad I went.

Sorry to hear about your dad, Lineys. I've also been going to a grief counsellor although it hasn't helped as much as I hoped it would.

Before I used to have that desire to see people and connect. Now it's just gone and I'm happy to spend time alone. Maybe it has to do with me not really relying on other people to get through my grief.

The counsellor I found (online) isn't specifically a bereavement counsellor, interestingly. I just thought I'd like him. One of his testimonials was from a moderately well known person who had lost confidence and then found it again.

I used some of the money my dad kindly left me to pay for it. Seems fitting, as my parents did a right Larkin on me tbh.

It is really important you find the right counsellor, I think.

I have. I have basically cut off friends who weren't there for me, and am quite prepared to walk away from situations that I just don't want to be in. I just don't have the energy to get bogged down by situations that I can control.

londonpia, I've done that. I had one friend, who I met up with after my mum died who told me she felt her life was pointless because she was unhappy and never once called me to see how I was afterwards. I've never bothered to get in touch again although weirdly she's now friends with two of my other friends.

Lineys, I've had general counselling before and it was great. I think you're right, maybe I'm just not gelling well with this one but she's free and I don't have much cash right now.

I'm a bit sceptical about the abilities of some counsellors! There's some free online resources, by the way, that I've seen linked to on here.

Good luck - I know it's a hard road. Small steps, and all that.

Sorry for all your losses of loved ones

I lost my husband very suddenly on 30th September.

I totally get not wanting to socialise. I've been out a couple of times but didn't really enjoy it. I'm quite happy at home. I do work part time and I have two boys 19 and 15 so I have to go out occasionally.
I'm sitting here in my PJs been up since 4am. Can't be bothered to even shower.
When you lose someone you sure find out who your friends are, I don't bother with the friends that haven't bothered with me now.

Def after my dad dies,,,,it kind of brought home to me how precious life U.S. and I realised I was spending time with people I really didn't like that much and doing things I really didn't want to do....so now I am so much more selfish with my time and sooooo much happier....life is to short to be doing anything that does not contribute to your happiness and spending time with negative people

Yup.
And I'm supposedly extroverted.
I just can't be bothered to socialise for the sake of it.

Me too - since my brother died almost four years ago the sparkle has left me, if I'm honest. I'm not entirely confident I'll ever get it back.

On the plus side, I don't waste time with people who deplete me, which is a good thing! And I do feel more connected with people who have experienced grief. It just gets me that no-one really talks about it.