My dad has died suddenly

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He was only 60. Mum found him sat on the sofa this morning. We think possibly heart problems, he’s been complaining of some stomach/chest pains for a few days but seemed better yesterday.

DM is like me, a sorter outer. But despite being together since teenagers they have completely seperate finances for reasons not for this thread. There’s about 4 years left on the mortgage. I think he has life insurance and possibly an army pension (he was a TA Sargeant Major) I don’t know about a private one, but we don’t really know anything. I don’t think my mum knows what any of the bills are or who is paid what. He paid the bills and the mortgage, Mum does the food and car etc.

What should we be thinking about? How do we arrange a funeral? I don’t know what paperwork he might have anywhere, or what kind of list I should be making? Thanks in advance.

I'm so sorry for your loss

The first thing to do is register the death

There is more info here

www.gov.uk/after-a-death

Once you've registered the death you can then use the certificates to close bank accounts. Also at the appointment they'll sign you up to Tell Us Once bereavementadvice.org/topics/registering-a-death-and-informing-others/tell-us-once-service

I'm so sorry. First of all don't rush. If you have to 'do' then write lists. Your undertaker will help with everything. Google for local ones. You don't have to use the first one you talk to. We shopped around for my friend and it made a difference. There is a gov website 'what to do when someone dies' if you're in Uk. So sorry.

SO sorry for your loss, what a horrible shock.

The hospital will give you a pack which explains how to register the death and how to arrange the funeral.

Does your dad have online passwords/accounts? You shoulda start informing those people but don’t rush. Everything will be transferred to your mum I would have thought.

Your mum should inform HRMC as soon as possible to stop any over payments of benefits if applicable. But the registration will explain some of that to you.

Mum mum died unexpectedly last month and the whole funeral stuff sort of just happens, and you’ll get help from the funeral home.

You can ring a funeral director to make provisional arrangements but they'll need the green form that you'll get during the registration appointment

www.gov.uk/after-a-death

Thanks all. He may have online things. He has form for randomly swapping providers of things when he’s annoyed so it might be harder to figure out who he was actually paying bills to. Thankfully I’m off work all this week anyway so can start digging round his stuff in a couple of days and see what I find.

I am so sorry OP

My DF died 2 months ago and he kept everything separate so have spent some time going through his papers to sort things out. My parents rented and didn't have many other possessions but it still seems to take ages to sort out.

When you go to register the death it is useful to have the following documents or details for your dad: passport, driving licence, blue badge if he had one, National insurance number, so the tell us once service can be accessed, which will mean all the relevant Government departments will be informed. Also get quite a few copies of the death certificate whilst you are there. We have found that some people you have to inform don't always return them. A photocopy does not usually suffice. We also got copies of the will from the solicitor as some organisations require them.

Did your DF have a filing system of any form?

If he had a car you will need to do V5 form and re-tax it.

If you phone utility companies etc always ask to speak to Bereavement department

You will also need to do probate as well

Ño help for this case but Age UK do a Life Book so anyone can record all their important information for those left behind. It's something we should all do.

Would you be able to find any passwords he may have had? My DF did pretty much everything online whereas my DM avoided the internet (although have spent Christmas teaching her about it!)

Luckily we have been able to access my DF's email account so that has given us some clues of some organisations/utility companies. One thing that has just come to light is that he had PayPal account which obviously paid some subscriptions automatically on renewal and we saw some emails chasing for payment so are in process of closing that account. So watch out for anything like that.

When you close his bank account you may start getting letters chasing for payments e.g. utility direct debits or pension companies saying that they can't pay in any pension benefit so that may shed some light on pensions etc.

Sorry for your loss op 💐
My dad died very suddenly too 4 years ago...

Did he have a Will?

You can use the "tell us once" service which I found useful as it lets the DVLA, passport office, dwp etc know

You will need to register his death but he will have to have a post mortem as his death will be classed as unexplained until then.

You will need to instruct a funeral director

Don't be surprised if it is 3 weeks until the funeral...time of year etc

💐

Not all local authorities have "tell us once", but the registrar will tell you. If it was a sudden death it may all take a bit longer than if he was in hospital. A good undertaker will talk you through it all.

Very sorry for your loss Op. As has been said already, registering the birth is the first thing to do so that they can issue a death certificate - and make sure you get copies from them - you always need more than you think. Use the Tell Us Once service which the Registrar will explain to you. I found it very useful as it will advise the DVLA and the Dept for Work & Pensions among others. If your father was receiving a pension from the Army then you will need to let them know asap so that they stop the payments, but don't worry too much, just be aware that any pension payments or DWP payments paid after the date of death will have to be repaid. When you let your father's Bank know you can ask for a copy of all his direct debits and standing orders and that will help in identifying the utility providers. Once you have advised the Bank of the death they will freeze your father's account & so any companies who find they are unable to collect their payments as usual, will write to your father's address so they will identify themselves to you in time - so don't worry. The other important thing is to find your father's Will and if he leaves everything to your Mum then everything should be straightforward to arrange and you won't need to use a solicitor, it would just be a matter of amending all household accounts and joint bank accounts into your mother's sole name plus the property into your mother's sole name. You mention a mortgage, did your father have an insurance that pays the mortgage off in the event of his death? The mortgage company may have details of this. Hopefully he had a filing cabinet or drawer he kept all his files in and you will probably have to spend some time going through his papers to make sure you find everything. But please don't worry, the Registrars and funeral directors will be a great help plus the website bigchris linked for you. I found it helpful to make a list and just work though it and add to it as I went. I found all the companies were very helpful and did their best to sort things out with the minimum of fuss when someone has died. I'm so sorry for your loss.

For a sudden death, there may need to be a post mortem. The funeral home did the liaising with the hospital for me earlier this year.

I was also able to put a stop on my mum’s bank accounts prior to the death cert being issued.

So sorry for your loss. As regards finances, your mum could look at bereavement benefit as your dad was below state pension age.

Once the bank are notified of his death they will freeze any accounts in his sole name until such time as you have a death certificate and possibly letters of probate or administration. It can be easier not to tell them until you're ready so that direct debits continue to be paid and essentials such as gas/electricity etc aren't cut off for non payment causing more upset. If you do tell them and then need money to pay funeral expenses etc they will advance money from the account if you have a death certificate. If you call HMRC they will notify all relevant government departments under their Tell Once scheme.

Sorry about your Dad xx