It gets worse not better

[cecinestpasunepipe]

I lost my husband two years ago after 30 years together. I was numb for a year. Now I am resenting every day that passes as it takes our time together further and further away. On the outside I am coping, taking up new interests, spending time with my DDs and their families, visiting friends. But oh I want him back so badly.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm afraid I don't have any helpful advice but I didn't want to read and run. I can completely understand how you would as you do - it's a testament to how much you loved your husband.

I haven't lost anyone close, but I have had some very difficult times in my life and all I can say is that your inner life will eventually follow your outer life. Keep going through the motions and one day you'll realise that - without knowing it - things have become a little easier and life a little more fulfilling.

Good luck - hope someone with experience will come along soon

Oh and obvious question - but have you considered talking to your GP, seeing a counselor or taking medication? They aren't magic fixes but they can help pull you through such a terrible time.

sorry you are going through this. I remember saying something similar to a friend when I lost my mother 4 years ago. I kept thinking that our time together was becoming further and further away and it was not something I had even expected to think about or feel in that way. I guess it means the loss is still very raw. I did see my GP as after a couple of years, I could still feel very upset. I was given some very mild medication which certainly took the edge off for me. I am glad you have DD's and their families to keep you company. Take care of yourself.

Thank you for replying. I am on antidepressants and have had counselling. I feel quite embarrassed for posting now, but was feeling overwhelmed yesterday, a hard time of year and also because Keith Chegwin died from the same condition my husband suffered from. A better day today.

That's very understandable and don't be embarrassed, that is what this website is for - to support each other. It's a difficult time of the year for so many. We forget that. Take care. x

for you ceci. I recognise your name from posts quite some time ago. Or was it the Magritte? who can tell? :o

I'm nearly 18 months after my DH's death and while never numb, have full life like yours that more than fills the time. Oddly I don't actively wish him back, though it's not because I don't want him, just the utter conviction he's gone (not judging your feelings here). However I am eaten up with envy when I see couples of our age, not wishing they didn't have it, but wishing I did.