Four months on from death of a parent. Struggling.

[Shinygoldbauble]

I lost my lovely dad 4 months ago after a long period of illness.
It was soul destroying to watch. He fought bravely and really wasn't ready to go.
I have good days and bad days but find I am more teary lately.
It's the realisation that this really is it. He isn't ever coming back.
I went through a serious bout of depression several years ago and I'm wondering if I am ok, is it just normal grief?
The lead up to Christmas is difficult. It's hard to be enthusiastic.
Just wondering if anyone else is feeling the same?

When my mum died it got worse for a long time- because it was further and further away in time that we had last been together.

Eventually it became like a dull ache and, even further down the line, there is pleasure in remembering the happy times.

But times like Christmas always highlight the love we all still have for her.

Thinking of you OP.

The next year will be a year of 1sts. Christmas,New year, his birthday,yours, and other family members,Fathers Day and so on. It will be sad and you are allowed to cry. But please believe me that one day you will realise that your memories do not bring on tears but smiles, the happy times you shared and the memories of him become precious . I no longer have either of my parents and as an only child (!) no-one to share those memories of childhood. Life will never to exactly the same, but it will be ok. Life does go on - but I'm a different way 🌹🌻🌼

Name that's a lovely positive post to read - I wish my dad could see that it can improve so many people tell him it never gets any better (or is that just what he takes from what they say!)

Tomorrow is three months to the day since Mum was taken to hospital, and Friday will be 3 months since she died. I miss her so bloody much. DH went to visit his Mum today and I thought “I’ll phone Mum while he’s out” and then I remembered...

My mum died in August and I have found the run up to Christmas extremely hard especially as Christmas Day has always been just my family plus my mum. Kindest thoughts to you all.

What do you do with Facebook and WhatsApp? I keep seeing his name popping up or his phone messages do we delete or leave? I saw a close friend today for lunch and she never mentioned him once. It’s only been nearly two weeks since we had the funeral. She never even asked how it went.

each that's tough when nobody, especially friends mention your loved one. I had this recently and I assumed the person just didn't know what to say or didn't want to upset Me, I don't know tbh.
I still txt my dad on whatsap I've got his old phone in my drawer x

It’s been 11 months now since we lost mum and I’m finding the run up to Christmas a big struggle and finding that I’m a lot more teary than I have been for a while. I guess it doesn’t help that it will be the first Christmas without her, my first birthday without her on the 3rd of January and then the first anniversary of her passing on the 9th

Sending you so much love and hugs xxx

Thanks for all the support and lovely, kind messages. My sincere sympathy to everyone suffering with the loss of a parent.
My dad was old school so no WhatsApp or anything like that. I do miss our regular phone chats though. I think other people find it hard to know what to say so just avoid the subject but 2 weeks since the funeral is no time at all so I'm surprised your friend didn't mention it at all Each. Is she usually quite self-centred.
I have a 'friend' like that. Saw her a couple of weeks ago and all she did was moaning on about her problems after barely acknowledging my loss.

It’ll be a year in January that my mum died and I have to say the last week it so feels just like it did when she first died, I just can’t seem to get a grip at the moment, can’t sleep and cry all the time. I miss her and my dad so much (he died two years ago).

OP I am sorry for your loss.

My mother died three months ago and yesterday I cried in the supermarket when I saw the biscuits that she used to buy for my children.

I was sideswiped by someone at a party offering me really lovely, thoughtful and personal condolences at the weekend. It really threw me, but I really appreciated their comments. It is awful when people don't mention it.

My dad died in July after a very short illness. It still catches my breath when I have that realisation that he’s really gone. We always spent Christmas together so this is a particularly hard time. We’re doing things a bit differently this year because it’s too hard to face doing the same things with him not being here.