Please tell me what to write in a bereavement card

[Rainbowandraindrops67]

I’m so rubbish at this sort of thing but really want to send a nice card with a meaningful message in to my friend who has just lost her father. I didn’t know her father if that makes a difference - I just want to be supportive for her. Please tell me what to say or not say in this situation! Tia

Over the years I've bought many cards and not sent them because like you I didn't know what to write. I've taken down over fifty this morning and I can tell you now that it doesn't matter what words you use, just say what you feel. If it's a shock, say it's a shock. If you don't know what you can do to help - say that. If there's anything you can think of that might help then say that.

(For anyone else reading this, if you knew the person who died but not the family, if you are sending a card please share a story of how you knew them or a memory because without that it may be difficult for them to work out who you are)

Something like how sorry you are for their loss or thinking of them at this sad time - I can say from recent experience it is touching to receive cards no matter what they say, it lets you know people are thinking of you & that the person who hasn't passed away was loved, my dad kept the sympathy cards for my mum up for ages & there were loads

The message I remember from a card when I lost my mum, and I have used since was to 'take comfort in the lovely memories I had of her. '

My sincere condolences to you and your family on learning of your cherished Father's passing. I wish you all strength as you mourn and process this profound loss.

Don't try too hard to come up with the perfect message because there are no magic words that will bring comfort when the shock or grief is raw. It is enough to send a card saying that you are sorry for your friend's loss and that you are thinking of her at this sad time. Follow up with a call or a text in a few days.

I always write something like "I'm sorry for your loss. I know nothing I can say will make it better but please let me know if I can help in any practical way or if a chat would help" (depending on how well I know them)

I remember one card I received after my dm died and it said all the usual sorry for your loss etc then at the end it said 'be good to yourself' and it really had an impact on me.

Thank you all so much - so helpful