I'll give a brief background first.
Up until a few years ago, there was a girl I met at school. We got on and became extremely good friends, in fact, we were more like sisters after a while. We got on brilliantly with each other's families and so on.
Anyway, a few years ago, there were a few issues between us that were too serious to be resolved and maintain a friendship (there's more to it, but suffice to say the comments she made regarding certain things I simply could not forgive), so we haven't spoken since (we are still on each other's fb accounts though, but we don't talk at all).
Anyway I found out today via fb that her nan had sadly passed away. I know how close she was to her Nan, and therefore how upset both her as well as the rest of the family will be. (I was upset myself, as I got on very well with my former friends Nan and family as I said).
It was on fb, so of course from that other people know about it. Another person on my friends list asked if I knew (she was aware how close I used to be to the family, and also that said friend and I no longer talk at all), and I said that I did know.
I then said that I was going to send my former friend a message, just to say that I'm sorry for the families loss, and that I am here if she did want to talk (we live far apart so a visit isn't really an option), but despite our own issues with each other, I would be more than willing to have a chat on the phone if she wanted. (I don't want us to be friends again, but at this difficult time I would certainly put things aside for now).
My other friend said she thought I shouldn't do that at all, because of my separate issues with her over things in the past, she will accuse me of trying to get some sort of revenge while she's grieving and vulnerable. Which I wouldn't be at all. I admit I've no interest in us having a friendship again, but I do still want her to know that I'm not heartless and I am genuinely sorry, and willing to talk if she wanted. (She knew that I really liked her nan, she was almost like a nan to me as well, my nan (mums mum) died when I was 11, and I'm not close to mg dads mum at all, so it was nice to have that nan figure almost. So she'd know I would feel upset may be the wrong word, but I can't think of another, so yes upset about it).
Sorry for the long post, but a simple condolence message won't lead said friend to think I'm using her nans death to get back at her for what happened between us, will she? Am I doing the right thing by sending it?