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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

Just want to sleep and not wake up

22 replies

Iamchanging · 29/09/2017 10:47

I thought when my mum died 5 years ago that I would never have to cope with heartbreak of that level again. But I was wrong and it's worse this time. Next week they will kill my baby girl with an injection and I will deliver her at almost 25 weeks.
I can feel her kicking inside me and I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. We went through fertility treatment to get her and did the nursery two weeks ago that will sit there empty now.
My DH is being amazing but I just can't bear it.

OP posts:

orangeowls · 29/09/2017 10:53

I’m so so sorry, that must be so difficult

Stressalot42 · 29/09/2017 13:47

I am so very very sorry. Would you like to tell us your daughters name?

I’m here to hold your hand if you need.

xxx

Zisterhood · 29/09/2017 13:54

I'm so very sorry to read such a sad post. Look after each other. X

bimbambom · 29/09/2017 14:05

I'm so terribly sorry. I went through the same and my daughter was delivered at 28 weeks.
They are still the darkest days of my life and looking back I have no idea how I got through them but somehow I did. Please feel free to pm me if you want to chat

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 29/09/2017 14:20

I'm so sorry - what an unbearable thing to have to go through. Thinking of you. xx

notonthestairs · 29/09/2017 15:09

Just posting to say how very, very sorry I am for you and your DH.

Original poster

Iamchanging · 29/09/2017 15:52

Her name is Elizabeth Margaret, Margaret after my mum. She is our first baby and the first grandchild on my DHs side.
I'm so sorry for those of you who also went through this x

OP posts:

bimbambom · 29/09/2017 16:03

My name is Elizabeth too and I have always loved it! Moment by moment and day by day. If I can help in any way even by giving you my experience of medical process etc do let me know

Original poster

Iamchanging · 29/09/2017 16:44

Thank you Bimba - have PMed you x

OP posts:

Isadora2007 · 29/09/2017 16:49

So so sorry. What a lovely name for your precious baby.

Itscurtainsforyou · 29/09/2017 17:00

I'm so sorry OP. I've lost babies at similar times and see no difference between spontaneous preterm delivery/stillbirth and (what I'm presuming you're going through) TFMR. Losing a child is very traumatic, however it happens.

I'm sure that you've had all the information you need to make your decision, so it will be the right one.

I hope all goes as well as it can. When you feel up to it, you may find SANDS groups helpful. There were a few mums who'd experienced similar circumstances to yours in the group I went to recently.

Sending you

MagicFajita · 29/09/2017 17:00

Iamchanging - I didn't want to read and run as your post touched me.

My dp and I lost our baby at 23 weeks last year in similar circumstances to you. She had an illness that wasn't compatible with life so I delivered her and we organised her cremation.

I thought I'd never smile again , those were dark days.

Think of ways to remember her , allow yourself to grieve properly. Look after your partner and let your partner look after you - stick together throughout and you will get through.

Please pm me if you want. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

nuttyslackster · 29/09/2017 17:07

You poor thing, what a terrible situation. I feel so sorry

Stressalot42 · 29/09/2017 19:44

Oh what a fantastic name, lovely! So very hard for you.

I’m sorry xx

JaneEyre70 · 29/09/2017 19:50

I had to deliver my very precious little boy at 26 weeks. I can't tell you it's easy because it isn't, it is an unthinkable thing to have to go through but you will get through it and come out the other side. Just take it literally hour by hour at the moment, don't put any stress on yourself and just do what feels right. There is no right or wrong way to do this, only your way. Wishing you comfort for the days ahead, and thinking of your darling little Elizabeth .

trev1983 · 29/09/2017 20:04

I can't read and not respond.

Your pain must be so intense.

Take each step as it comes. Let the medical staff guide you. They will be kind, gentle and comforting at such a dark time for you.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

I'm so sorry.

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 29/09/2017 20:14

I'm really sorry this is happening to you. I recognise your name from the thread I used to be on and I'm just so sad that you're going through this at this stage.

The name you've picked out is lovely and I just needed you to know that I'll be thinking of you all next week. Sadly I don't really have any words of advice but couldn't not respond. Try and just take it moment by moment.

MrsMozart · 29/09/2017 20:16

I am so sorry lass

Littleelffriend · 29/09/2017 20:19

I'm sorry, you are stronger than you think just take things minute by minute hour by hour. I'm so so sorry xx

Branleuse · 29/09/2017 20:21

Im so sorry for all your losses. I really hope you can get through this xx

Original poster

Iamchanging · 30/09/2017 09:10

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. No choice but to just endure but it seems so hard

OP posts:

Stressalot42 · 30/09/2017 17:44

It is hard, it’s not fair and it’s a cruel world, much love for you, your DH and Elizabeth.

Xxx

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