That's it. Decided I'm going to make appointment for counselling.. but will,it help?

[MrsGrindah]

I've been avoiding it . Friends urge me to..as I would if they were in my shoes. But something is holding me back because the pragmatic part of me is saying " It's only talking..it won't bring her back" . But the truth is Im hiding how much I'm struggling . Mum died in difficult circumstances that only I know really so I guess I need to just say it all out loud. But can anyone tell me if in your experience it has helped?

Yes, absolutely, as long as the counsellor is good.

Sometimes you do need to "just talk".
I hope it helps. X

Thanks think it will be good to talk. Do you have any local bereavement groups also?

Luckily work will pay for counselling. Not sure I want a group environment... think that would hold me back.But part of me thinks why don't I just sit down for a good cry with my DH?

I lost my DM a little over 2 years ago and I finally started some counselling sessions last November (thanks to my fabulous health visitor). Personally I found whilst the sessions weren't a cure for how I was (and often still am) feeling, it helped me look at why I think/feel as I do, order events in my mind, and taught me strategies to deal with the loss when I feel it rising. I'd never had counselling before and now realise I should have gone not only sooner after losing Mum, but also after something else that had happened to me many years earlier. I can imagine, as mentioned upthread, that it what you gain will be highly reliant on who you get but that isn't a reason not to try. I had 8 sessions with reading 'homework' set between them, which worked well in my situation: by the last one I felt like I had no more to really say to her.

I'd give it a try OP, you have nothing to lose. Also if it was complicated circumstances is there anyone else you can speak with to get a clearer picture in your mind? I met with DM's consultant for a debrief which answered so many questions, and a good friend who's a senior nurse was able to answer others.

Thanks piglet It's true that I have nothing to lose but I suppose I'm scared of opening the dam and feeling all that pain and not being able to shove it back in

I naturally bottle things up too, although for different reasons. I've trained myself to talk more, but it's hard and doesn't come naturally. However, if there's one thing I've learned it's that it'll need to come out eventually as I've found I can't really move past/accept something until I've felt and confronted it. I found the counselling let it out slowly enough to cope with: up to that point I'd still been in the same state of numb crisis management I'd entered when we got the call to get over to the hospital.

What's the wait like for the counselling? I was a priority as I had a new baby but still had to wait a few months. I've used this board (under a NC) in the past to help get perspective and clarity on things, so that might be something to consider if the wait is long.

I am so sorry for your loss. I had bereavement counselling 12 years ago. The sessions were difficult at times and I found letting go very challenging but without a doubt the sessions helped put me back together. I had 9 sessions in total. As others have said you have nothing to lose.