Do you ever learn to live with it

[Katie2878]

Hi just a quick question ..if a loved one takes their own life do you ever get over the shock ? Does it ever seem real ? Does life go back to normal ? Do you stop searching for answers ? I'm driving myself crazy

Sorry for your loss.

It's a cliche but time is a great healer.

To start with you kept forgetting then remembering and grieving all over again 'must ask Dad about that' etc then realising you can't anymore.

Gradually that stops and you will be able to think of them without tearing up.

Obviously everyone is different but I've found the above to be true for me and others have said the same.

That's what I've been doing I forget then it all comes back then I try and convince myself it's not happened it's strange ...think I'm still in shock xx

A friend of mine has written a memoir about life after a family member's suicide.

There's a review of it here www.pressreader.com/uk/the-jewish-chronicle/20170721/282209420912181

I will give it a read thank you

So sorry for your loss
When someone takes their own life, there is that awful sense of not understanding how things came to a stage where they felt that dying was their only answer.
Have you been able to talk to anyone, get any counselling?
Cruse might be helpful, and you can always talk or email Samaritans, who have a special insight into suicide. You do not have to feel suicidal to use Samaritans service.

It depends on that person's character, your character, the way he/she did it and the circumstances surrounding it. My dad killed himself 2 years ago and it did not take me long to "accept" it, it was something he always said he would do because he did not want to get old... no one in the family believed him, including me, however he did mean it and that has made it easier for me to accept it as his choice, and nobody's fault. It does take long to "remember he's gone" though, especially because I live in a different country and he had never visited, so there are no memories of him here, and it is easy sometimes to think he is just back home.

Sorry for your loss, suicide is the hardest way of going for everyone left behind.

It somehow becomes normal. Thinking that if you magically do everything right you will earn enough karma to slip into the parallel universe where it didn't happen...

Someone in a shared house I lived in took her own life. It was a huge shock but over time I accepted that - in the way one accepts a variety of difficult and sad experiences. It also helped me to make up my mind that despite various struggles of my own, I would always try to continue to live.