How long?

[annawoolfworries]

Lost my dad very suddenly this week & I just want to know how long grief lasts. At the worst I just want to escape my own skin. At best I feel utterly numb.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry

The grief, unfortunately, lasts a lifetime.

You just get more used to living with it.

It takes a while to find your new 'normal' so just take things gently for now.

So very sorry for your loss, anna.

Grief never goes away and you don't get over it, just reach different accommodations that vary over time. There's no progress in that sense.

I am so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your father! How big the loss is for you anna. I lost my father seven years ago- it was devastating....you get some days when you get through....and some weeks and days when you don't.....
I lost my mother twenty years earlier...We leaned pretty heavily on dad and didn't realise we did.....My father was so brilliant, philanthropist, so kind.....my rock.....

when you lose the rock in your life....very rarely will anyone in the world understand.....be patient with yourself.....Try to stay busy....try to pray...try to move on....but there is rarely moving on....your life will just change......when my mum died....I thought I recovered...instead I became more like her....and instead of formally remembering her I actually was more like her....I did tonnes of charity work in memory of her......with my father passing away it is even worse...you become an orphan....I haven't done charity work in memory of my father ironically - even though he was the big charitable person in our lives....So I am now patient with myself knowing I have got older....I remember my father was very spiritual and prayed a lot- so I have started to do that.....Think of something lovely your father was, stood for and embrace this........But losing your parents is one of the worse things in the world.....If you can lean on having a family, or friends...embrace the world....Try to be ambitious even in grief.....Go for long walks, write, see it through- your hobby or some hobby even if it is painful.....and remember if your father was here--what would he want for you---any kind parent would want you to be happy and really embracing life.......After the shock has worn off....Do keep pushing to do good things in your father's name....Prince Harry has now become very open about the effect his mother's death had on him....pushing himself in the army, the devastation.....your parents are the best friends you will ever meet (good parents) and unfortunately life is emptier without them.......

Do so much more anna, there will be so much charitable work - where you will help people far worse off....it will happen and in memory of your father....do good in the world...it will lessen the pain......do it in a year or earlier......I remember my mother with the hundreds of poor I helped...Prince Harry has found that humanitarian help has helped save him....he has also shared radio interviews on the net on this.....bereavement is a devastating state....but you learn to live and you will be stronger when you help those in pain....perhaps join a peer bereavement group when you are strong or set one up a few years later

It doesn't go away, as they say. But it does become more manageable so that you can function with some level of normality. It can take a lomg time. There aren't any hard and fast rules - it's different for all of us and every relationship.

There are recognised stages of grief, which you can Google, which might be helpful for you to understand some of of what you're feeling, but it might also be useless, as we're not all the same.

Wishing you all the strength you need to get through this. You're never old enough to lose your parents.

Be patient...grief ebbs and flows. Your mind processes the loss bit by bit until it's manageable. You'll find that some days are hard (be patient and kind to yourself) and some days ok...over time the number of better days outweigh the sad days more and more...

Be kind to yourself...it's still extremely early days.

So very sorry for your loss❤️big hugs!!!!

I lost my dad when I was 14 years old. I'm 34 now. In the early days after my dad's sudden and tragic death, I thought my heart would break from sadness. The pain is so acute, and so monumental.

Sometimes you think you won't survive, or if you do you'll never be happy again, just different levels of sad for the rest of your life. But I promise you this isn't true. You will survive, because there is no other way. And you will laugh, and find joy in life again.

It just takes time. And also people. Don't shut yourself off to people who love you (I did this for a while) - let them be part of your life and share even a fraction of the pain. Also if your schedule allows it - get a dog/cat to love. Love is a great healer.

Hi Anna, I'm sorry for your lost. My Dad died at the end of June, his funeral was on Friday. He was 73 and although had been ill for a while his death was a total shock. I live a long way from my parents so my mum is now on her own which I am really worried about. I have one more week off on sick leave but don't feel ready to go back. Mum isn't up to dealing with anything so I've had to arrange the funeral and deal with all of his estate. I feel exhausted and am struggling to parent ds age 5 and dd age 2. I feel like I'm wading through mud and completely numb other than the times that I cry inconsolably. I'm very worried that people say this feeling doesn't go away, I want to feel like living again.

The a cuteness and exhaustion does pass - you will find there are times when you are smiling at the memories rather than cry at them. There will still be days when it hits you all over again, but those days get further apart. Settling the estate can be very time-consuming, when you least have energy for it - there is a lot of paperwork round grief. But time does pass, and things do get easier, particularly once you've been past the birthdays, Christmas and so on for the first time. But life will never be quite as it was before.

*acuteness. Acute stage of grief in the first days and weeks.