How?

[Hotpinkangel19]

Do you get through a funeral? I'm absolutely dreading it. I don't want to say goodbye to my mum, I want her to be back here with us. She should have lived to be really old. I don't want to go.... 🙁

I'm afraid I resorted to valium for my mum's recent funeral. My GP wrote me a prescription, no questions asked. Even the thought that I had the option of taking it or not, I found very settling.

Do you have a say in organising it? I always find it hard singing at a funeral when I was close to the person. You could include or leave out things that would make it unbearable for you. It's really hard but you are stronger than you think.

My mum died unexpectedly two months ago and I have to say that her funeral was the best part of those two months. I organised it, which helped as I felt as if it represented her and who she was. It also marked the start of my grieving for her properly, as I had been too stressed and anxious beforehand to do so. I was utterly staggered that it was actually not awful (as I'd been expecting it to be).

Have you been able to have any input at all? Choosing a song or writing a letter to place on/in her coffin may help.

It's not going to be easy. But it might help you in ways you can't foresee.

Good luck

I understand your dread OP. When my brother died I felt very similar, but the actual funeral went by very quickly in a bit of a blur. Then we got pissed afterwards and actually had quite a nice evening. You might be surprised.

This probably sounds really twee, but your mum is going to be with you always in your heart, you don't have to say good bye to her at the funeral. I treated the funeral as a celebration of her life and filled it with happy memories, so while it was sad and emotional, we also smiled through our tears.

Thank you xx I managed, I cried but it was okay. I'm 11 weeks pregnant so no port, but it would have helped xx