PTSD and grief

[willstarttomorrow]

DH died very suddenly just over 2 years ago. It feels like yesterday TBH. I went back to work 4 months later, DD did not miss a day off school. This was her choice at the time. Life has carried on but it has become increasingly difficult. We have no family support nearby and my job is incredibly stressful. Unfortunately it also pays the bills.
I am not sure why I am posting now. The last 6 months have been like walking through treacle, wake up and get through the day, then repeat. DD has now started to grieve. Professionally I knew this would happen but I am not managing it well. Also people think we should have moved on by now.
I have completely crumbled. Luckily I am in a job where I get paid for being off for a while but I feel such a failure. My daughter is a ball of anger because of our huge life changes. I am skint and bloody lonely. I have got every thing wrong over the last 2 years.
I have just been diagnosed with PSTD and significant depression. 12 months ago, whilst not exactly happy, I thought I was doing enough to get through this. This is just a rant and I am sorry.

Firstly, you have not 'got things wrong'. There is no 'script'. You have had a terrible experience and you have done your best to do what you can to get you and your dd through it.
I don't really have answers for you or advice, but I want you to know that you are not alone and people will listen.

What support have you accessed ? Counselling? Has your dd had any support from somewhere like Winston's Wish or Edwards Trust? Have you joined any bereavement groups or widows support groups? (On-line or in your local area). Has your dd? You are not alone, and there are different ways to access support, and someone to listen to you.

Thank you. I tried WAY, maybe a bit too early and I was not ready. I asked for support for DD through TAHMS and they have involved again recently at my request. Although we live in a huge city there is nothing for her. DH was not ill so no hospice support. Cruse in this area have no groups for young people and have never replied to my emails or messages. DD really finds it difficult because all her friends have mums and dads. They were closer than most because he was mainly at home and did school runs etc.
I have worked with bereaved children professionally and accessed all the usual stuff. I want to be her parent not her social worker, if that makes any sense. I now have support through the local MH team. They are amazing.