I loved that man

[Lovedlost]

Phone call yesterday. Casual mention of a death, of someone I adored. I couldn't talk more, then I cried.
Spent 24 hours wishing I had told him what he meant. We were friends and colleagues, we spent time together, we laughed, we danced.
He risked a madman with a broken bottle for me when I was stalked. Not only this, but spent time making sure I was OK and home safe afterwards.
He made sure that an abusive ex could not come near me. He risked a lot doing that, but just stated that he would 'deal with it'.
When my drink was spiked, he sat up all night with me. Took me to his house, gave me water, tea and care. He talked me through that nasty LSD episode, despite having never taken drugs.
He then took me home.
He was never inappropriate. He was an incredibly popular man, but always had time for me.
He never knew how much difference he made. I wish I had sat him down and explained. I wish I could talk to him now.
I want to see him smile again.
I trawled YouTube for videos, but couldn't find them.
He wasn't old. He wasn't obviously ill. They are waiting on postmortem.

I hope he knows how much I loved him.

He did. I once had a friend with benefits. He was the nicest man I'd ever known. He taught me more about how men feel than I could ever say.

When he fell in love, his woman , not unreasonably, she wanted him to let all his fwb go. He died two or three years later.

Twenty years later, I still miss and mourn him. We were also friends and colleagues,

The comfort I take is that I loved him, after a fashion, and he loved me in the same way

Mourn him, it's ok

I'm sure he knew.

The fact that he did all that for you shows he also must have cared for you so very much. Occasionally life lets you cross paths with people who are just good, decent and kind. He would have felt how much you appreciated and respected him. Sounds like you were both lucky to have known each other.

What thoroughly good egg he sounds.

No-one so kind could not know who appreciated them.