My Dad is dying

[AlrightBabby]

Just that really, he's got cancer in more places than I thought possible and is so weak and helpless. I am finding it so hard as it's all been so sudden, and Mom is being all stoic and at times ridiculously optimistic (he has the hospice nurses in every day)

I don't have many mates to offload on, and DH is good but works long hours so I have so much time on my own to mull it over, can I talk to you lot on here about all sorts of shitty things I'm feeling

Op, I'm also going through this right now.

My stepdad had pancreatic cancer and after numerous chemo sessions he was admitted last week with low blood pressure and dehydration. I'm finding it hard to watch the change in him, he's gone from wearing a size xl to xs since January.

We found out on Friday the cancer has now spread to his liver and we've been given a time frame of 2-3 weeks, he's curtly in hospital 45 mins away expected to be moved to a hospice soon as possible.

Cancer has so much to answer for. I fucking hate it!

My darling dad is dying too. It's utterly heartbreaking to see him deteriorate and change in front of my eyes. It's his birthday tomorrow and I couldn't even cope with buying a card as I knew it would be the last time ever. I've ended up ordering one online as this somehow seemed more manageable. I'm trying to say strong for my dc as they love their grandad dearly. They are also all disabled which makes it even harder for me. My DD is suffering so much now and in severe pain. He is very confused and my mum is struggling to cope. I know we're losing him slowly day by day and it's unbearable to think that soon he won't be here. I feel sick at the thought.

Just sending my love to you all.
Reading these posts vividly brings back my DH's last few weeks, he died a couple of weeks ago.
Be kind to yourselves and your loved ones.
Hugs and x

@chasingsquirrels.

Its my birthday on Monday and I have an awful feeling its going to happen then . Today he spent mostly sleeping, he had a bad night a few nights ago and ended up on oxygen, antibiotics and morphine. He's asked not to be resuscitated which I can agree with although it hurt to hear that, sending hugs to you all. I wish there where better words to say to you all.

Its just so utter shit and unfair to watch and wait for an outcome you are powerless to do anything about.

So sorry that some of you are going through the same, it must be one of the most horrific things, Dads are meant to be strong and infallible not weak and vulnerable. I feel really shitty today because I put the phone down on him, he'd asked Mom to call me to ask me a favour. I agreed to do the favour willingly, but I dared to have an opinion and he shouted (not easy with throat cancer) at me to forget it! I was more upset for my Mom, as he tries to tie up his loose ends he's mithering her and keeps repeating the same instruction until she does things immediately. I sound fucking horrible don't I?

I went round about an hour later and he's getting frailer by the day, so I'm glad I went but feel like a bastard for putting the phone down. I think he'd forgotten by the time I got there

Some truly heartbreaking stories on here, fucking bastard disease.

Have I said that Dad has now got 'death envy'? He keeps listing people he knows who have died quickly or suddenly and saying why can't he go like that - it breaks me every time, he's always been so full of life

Oh AlrightBabby sweetheart - just sending you some hugs.
DH's cancer was oesphogaus, the last week his voice went completely - the GP said it was likely a growth pressing on one of his vocal chords. He could only whisper.
And he too had had enough and wanted it to be over - it's so hard to hear, but it's so hard to live with as well. I completely understood. His 1st MIL died in her sleep just before Christmas, she was 86 but I understand it was unexpected. Obviously lots of commiserations - but as DH said, I'd take it as a way to go.
And the DNR order, I knew he was dying, I knew it was only a matter of time, I knew resuscitation would have been a terrible thing to put him through, but when he was asked about it and agreed to a DNR it just suckered punched me.
Look after yourself x

OP, I won't project any of how I felt when I lost my DF to cancer, a few months ago, very suddenly (26 days from diagnosis to death), but will say this:
He's given you a big cue as to how he wants to go. When he's at the point of no return, if you feel strong enough, say that you want him to have everything he can to let him slip away peacefully (you could check his with him to be sure). You will know when the time is right.
I'm so sorry for you. This is a terrible thing to go through.

So sorry for everyone on here that are watching a loved one or there parents have passed with the dreadful big C. Also had to watch my dear dad Go through it,& it's the worst thing I have ever had to do in my life,died 6 months after diagnosis,just 9 months ago, you are grieving when they are still here,and it is just shit,but you will have no regrets if your there whenever you can,knowing you spend your dads last days with him will be a comfort to you when the time comes. I have every sympathy for you& each & everyone of you,so sorry,but there really good with the pain management & your dad shouldn't suffer& will go peacefully when that day comes,sending you strength to get thru this awful time xxx

It's been a year today (dad cancer ) . Sending all my to you all going through it . The hardest times

We had some wierd shit happen when my dad was dying - some wierd stuff came out that would have been better not .
and it's kind
Of stunted my grieving ? Wierd - sorry to derail

Strength too you all

You were all right, My dad sadly passed away thursday evening and while one of the hardest things i've ever had to go though I'm so glad I was there for him at the end. I spent his last few days caring for him, washing his face, taking drool out of his mouth when he lost consciousness, he wasnt in any pain finally and the nurses in the hospital where amazing, seriously they're so underpaid for the jobs they do its unbelievable!

alrightbabby I'm so sorry about your dad, the attitude coming out now and the need for everything done his way was mentioned by one of our nurses as a side effect of the cancer, try not to let his short temper clud your memories of the lovely dad that you have