Feel so lost

[lyssie29]

Hi my fiancé passed away last April very suddenly of a brain haemorrhage. I feel like I've come along way since then but all of sudden I feel very broken. I keep thinking about my life now. I have 2 beautiful children who are one and three and I'm running on empty. I have no family who will babysit they're not interested and my kids don't have any grandparents at all. Every day is the same and I love my kids so much of course but sometimes I just want to run away. I had to leave my job. All I do is take care of the kids. Does anyone else feel the same??

Hi op.
for you.
How awful for you.
Deep breath.
I have not been in your situation so not posting with a common scenario but just wanted to show some moral support via keyboard.

What an awful time you've had.
Do you have no family nearby?you said your dc have no grandparents?is that due to no contact or passing?
Do you take your dc to any groups local to you?
1 and 3 are really hard ages without the added grief your going through.
It takes a very long time to come to terms with a massive life changing situation so I can't imagine how you must be feeling.
Have you spoken to your gp about grief counselling?

Didn't want to read and run though I have no helpful advice. My dc are the same age and I can't imagine how you are coping without support.

Have you managed to make some friends at baby and toddler groups etc? Would they maybe take the theee year old for a play date? If I knew a mother in your situation I would be more than happy to do that.

A friend I know with kids the same age got some support from home start- a befriender came once a week and would watch the children whilst my friend would shower, tidy or just go for a walk. She was referred by her health visitor. I wonder if there is anything like that near you. It isn't a solution but just a chance to breathe might help you a little.

I haven't been to see about grief counselling as I just feel really awkward talking about my feelings to ppl. Their grandparents have all passed away and I do have family very close by but they are not interested. The way they see it is I chose to have kids so I should look after them. Of course though I didn't choose for my fiancé and their dad to die. I have checked in my area for places for help with the kids and there's none near me. Even the sure start centres have closed. I've been taking it day by day and it is getting easier but it's just so tiring. I know it won't be forever but it really does feel like it right now x

Just notice this thread tapered off. Are there mum and and baby groups near you. Getting out of the house is helpful. I so look forward to seeing another adult at the end of the day and it must be so hard not to have that.

If you can find a few people locally with children of similar ages at least you may get a bit of a support network. Feel free to post here if it helps. Just vent about your day.