Heartbroken

[Crazycake]

I have nobody to talk to, my family don't understand! My brother died a couple of weeks ago, before he turned 30. I'm the older sister, I should have known his troubles, I should have helped him! I didn't have a clue :(

To add, we only built a relationship up as adults, I wasn't allowed to see him when I was younger, we had different mums

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss and that your family don't seem to understand. Everybody grieves in different ways.
You shouldn't blame yourself. He obviously didn't want anyone to know about his struggles. Be gentle on yourself.

I was with him until the end, they took his ventilator out and it took so long for him to pass, I can't remember him how he was, just how he looked when he couldn't breath

I am so so sorry. You were so brave and kind to stay with him!

I'm sorry for your loss. You must have so much you wanted to share with him.

Your memories of him will return in time - it's the grief that's blocking them for now

You must feel like you've not only lost a brother but have been robbed of knowing him better

You were there for him when he needed you - people are very adept at concealing their problems so please don't blame yourself for not knowing

Be kind to yourself and take time to work through your grief - there's many a kind and patient ear on here if you want to share more...or just vent

Thank you for your kind words

I lost my DB at a similar age OP. I promise you it'll get easier. Grief is a long, strange road.