Im new here but wanted to post about my angel xx

[mommie2angels]

Okay everyone, I'm Kate and I live in Kent in the UK. Im 17 and in August 2006 i had a miscarriage at 13 and a half weeks pregnant. I was complete distraught as even thought I'm young I was going to keep the baby and give her the best life I possibly could. Today would have been my due date and I'm finding it hard to cope with. I just keep crying and I think my friends and family are all in agreeance that I should be coping better than I am, maybe even be "over it". What do you all think? Is the way I'm reacting to what has happened normal?
I had a second miscarriage at the end of January this year; I was 8 weeks 3 days gone. That affected me in the same way as my first baby did but not as badly. If anyone out there recognizes how I'm feeling can you post please because I don't know how much longer I can put up with having this all bottled up inside me.
Thanks,
Kate xx

bumping - i do know - i wouldn't have ds if i had not miscarried 4 months before conceiving him, they are all lives lost and are all precious.
do talk about it, and don't think you have to forget them

Thanks again everyone. Another quick question: After I miscarried the first time I felt like the only thing that would make me feel any better would be to get pregnant again, is that a normal feeling? After miscarrying for the second time I'm starting to feel that again but I cant get pregnant again because my boyfriend moved to Canada and now we are just "friends". Its really difficult because I dont want to make it seem like I just want him back here to get me pregnant again but I remember how much being pregnnat the second time helped me so I kinda feel like I need to be pregnant again. That probably made me sound really stupid but hey, its just how I feel.

Kate xx

I'm really sorry for your losses Kate. However, and I don't mean this in a patronizing way whatsoever but were you trying to conceive your babies? Had you and your boyf decided to start a family togetehr? What I am trying to say, and probably not very well, is that although you fell desperate to be pg again it is probably so your mind will be taken off your grief. However, it doesn't sound like you are in a situation where you are really wanting to have a baby, does that make sense?

Sorry if that comes across tactless and I am not referring to your age when I say you don't sound ready just more your situation.

again totally understandable. your head is saying fix it now!! but if you ttc again before you are physically and emotionally ready it will throw up all kinds of probs. you will still have to deal with your grief at some point. are you recieving counselling?

grief is easier to deal with sooner rather than later

I don't see how you can be "over it" after only 6 months or so, especially since you've been through it again. I'm sure the feelings will fade in time, but you can't rush it.

I was offered councelling but I turned it down. I had councelling at my old school and found that I always got really stressed out and angry because of the sessions so I guess you could say that I didnt have great experiences with councelling.

Chloe55, my first baby we didnt try for but welcomed the idea of a third member to the family with open arms. My second wasnt exactly planned. It was more a case of "Well if I get pregnant then so be it". And don't worry, you didnt sound patronzing at all.

Kate xx

try here the miscarriage association are vv good and this group you do need to talk to someone before you even think about ttc again. where are you?

If you mean where abouts on the map like, I'm in Kent, UK. And thanksyou, I will have a look at the links you posted.

Kate xx

if you need to rant you can CAT me, but see your gp about couselling please hun, ive been seeing a counsellor for 18m now and it was v hard at 1st and i got v angry etc (all the things youre describing) but it gets easier

Okay well I've got to make an appointment with my doctor tomorrow morning anyway because of my ear infection so I'll look into councelling again then. I just hope it really does get easier because I cant handle this feeling of complete emptiness that I'm feeling. Well I'm going to bed now, 10.30pm, completely knackered. Thanks for the advice today Lissie and everyone else. Chat tomorrow maybe xx

Kate xxxxx

Hey again everyone
I saw my GP yesterday and asked about councelling. He wasnt much good as he is known for always trying to find another way around things! I asked the lady at the reception desk if she had any leaflets on councelling in our area and she gave me a few phone numbers which Im going to give a call in the next few days.
Has anyone else found that councelling has helped them after a miscarriage?

Kate xx

Haven't had any personal experience of counselling but it seems to have benefitted most people who have been from what I've seen on here. Persevere, go down the route of calling direct from the leaflets you have been given. Good luck.

Hello Kate, you poor thing, I just wish I could give you a great big hug It's awful that you have to deal with this when you are so young yourself and not receiving much support. I do think it's very understandable that you have a strong wish to be pregnant again to make you feel better but I really think you need time now to gather your energy and grieve your losses properly - as it sounds as if you will now that your man is out of the picture. That's yet another loss for you and you really must get counselling of some kind because this is one blow after another for you and no one to help you heal from all the sadness.

One thing at least, you are young, you have plenty of time and one day you are going to be a wonderful mother with a real knowledge of how precious your children are, what lucky kids they are going to be to have you. For now just concentrate on your own healing and don't expect it to be a short-term matter - you have been through so much. I wish you every good wish and applaud your courage in posting here. x