Lost without my dad

[Kat17black]

Hi,ive just joined up today in hope of some help,my dad passed away suddenly in september I've helped organise the funeral, my mums finances, i visit my mum regular making sure she,s o.k..im trying to keep up with daily family life at home and work,truth is i'm mentally drained, I smile ,laugh say I'm fine at work but no one knows it's all an act..once im alone I hit rock bottom..have dark thoughts,cry, scream ,call out for dad in despair.. I visit where we scattered my dad's ashes every week in hope of some connection with him but im empty inside and feel lost,every week its getting harder to pretend.i'm so low today and I'm dreading Xmas with out him ..it's affecting my work now some days I can't face going in,i get no happiness out of the things I used to and nothing is the same anymore..

Hi. I know exactly what you mean. I lost my dad 2 years in January. Christmas was awful. Life is so dull now. The world has lost its colour. You can smile and say you're OK but nothing will ever be ok ever again. And time doesn't heal anything. My pain today is just as raw as the day he died 😢 hope you're OK x as ok as you can be x

I wish I could say something helpful. my dad has just been diagnosed, too soon to say how long he will have, but not long. It's been a shock, because he has been well. I will be in your shoes soon, supporting my mum, trying to keep my own life on track. I've been to stay as much as I can. I suppose we all just soldier on. have you tried bereavement counselling? They may be able to help you through. This is surely the hardest time for you, it will get better. You have managed lots of the practicalities.

I'm so sorry for your heart breaking loss. I found a bereavement counsellor gave me tool to help and guide me. I still cry but accept the pain for what it is. Your allowed in every way to cry, hurt and be angry. Feel no guilt. Be good to yourself and give yourself time, as much as you need. It's been a year for me but it still hurts but I accept it and my feelings. Talking is good for the soul.
Take care of yourself I'm sure that's what you Dad would want above everything. Xx