Its been a long hard year this year . Sons dad died. ( my ex) and his best friend committed suicide a few weeks later .Lots of other stuff happened but it would make this thread way too long.
I am terribly mixed up . I am angry at my ex for not being the dad he should have been . I read his younger children's words on how he was such a good dad and that he was always there for them . He was never there for my son emotionally or financially . I am angry with him and No Im not going to forgive. But sometimes I go over what I had said to him in letters and wonder of they hurt him ?! Then I pull myself up and think ..he hurt me many times over so WTF.
My son has gained a new family .His dad never wanted the kids to meet but now they have they get on so well its amazing. Why did this not happen before ? Why did he see us as totally separate from his new family ?
My sons friends family have also looked after him and treat him as their little brother. My heart is warmed by all this and is a testament to how nice my son is despite his dad .
His dad saw him once a fortnight for about 5 hours. I banned him from my house as he was always making passes or trying to pick an argument. I brought my son up on my own I had my own house no thanks to him ( we were in rented when together but I bought a house when we divorced......he gave up work so he did not have to pay child support...nice) I worked full time to keep a roof over our heads.
I m reading this back and know I am angry . There are no answers as he is dead.