My Nan

[RooDaisy]

My wonderful, amazing Nan passed away on the 7th October and I still can't believe she's gone. My Nan was my best friend in the whole world, she was my closest confidante, my strength, the strongest woman I've ever known. She was funny, beautiful and a tough cookie.

We've been today to put her ashes in the ground and this week has been really, really tough. We had to wait 3 weeks for the funeral and I thought after that I'd be fine and just be able to crack on but I wasn't, it took another week before I could get back to looking for a job and not not think about her but for it not to be so instantly raw. I've got a new job and start on Tuesday and all I want to do is ring my Nan and tell her all about it.

I want to tell her about my sister being an absolute gobshite to me yesterday (again) and why I've decided to cut her off for a little bit, for my own sanity.

Family dynamics are a bit fucked up anyway and my Nan is the one person I could speak to openly and she got why I felt the way I did, she never made me feel that my feelings weren't anything but valid, she listened to me, never ever judged me and is the one person in my life that I know loved me unconditionally.

I'm really struggling with the whole thing, from getting the call that she had died, when I was getting ready to go down and see her, to the last phone call we had on the Tuesday before, when we ended it with us both telling each other how much we loved each other and her telling me how proud she was of me. To seeing her gone on the sofa, to a sleeping beauty in the chapel of rest, to her funeral and how now she's ash in a box in the ground.

What I would do for one more phone call, one more kiss, one more hug, one more second with my beautiful 1 Nan.

I'm so very, very sad

I'm sorry for your loss RooDaisy

I was devastated when I lost my nan a few years ago, she & I were really close & she was very special to me. We had a similar relationship to how you describe yours with your nan, so I have some idea of how you are feeling.

Thank you drama
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I obviously knew that one day my Nan wouldn't be here but I honestly didn't think for one minute it would be now. We'd joke that she was going to live until she was 93 or until I got married and there's no sign of that happening anytime soon.

I said the same to my uncle today and he said, Jesus Roo if that was the case she'd be here till she was 200

My Nan was only 75 and so with it, the sharpest person I knew but she was in so much pain all the time, that I should be and I am happy that she's not suffering anymore but I was not and am still not ready for her to be gone.

I miss her so much

My amazing Nan died early last year, she was all I ever knew growing up. My mum had moved to America when I was very small and they thought it better that I stayed hear with Nan and Grandad, in England . I've never written on one of these forums before and I'm not really sure what to write, Nan was always there , she never had a bad word to say about me, I lived with her all the way through till the age of 25 , I was a bit of a difficult teenager and my Grandad would sometimes want me out of the house(he was a good man ) , but my Nan wouldn't hear of it!!! If someone said I was lazy or difficult or anything really , she wouldn't stand for it. She would always say "one do he'll make it". I'm grown up with kids now , and I'm so glad my children got to meet her, she loved my kids so much!! It's been almost a year now since she passed and I still don't find the grieving process any easier, I've never really spoken to anyone about it !!

garthy123

I've only just seen your reply so apologies for the late, late response.

How are you doing? Your Nan sounds wonderful and I'm so glad your kids got to meet her.

I met a man in December and we're going strong and it makes me so sad that he isn't going to get to meet my Nan and I can't put into words how awesome she was.

I'm having a down day today, I've just been watching videos of her on my phone and all I want to do is go round, catch her sleeping and then give her the biggest hug.

We had another family beravement 6 weeks ago, very young, very sudden and traumatic circumstances, it seems that since he died my Nan has been put to the back of my mind, which I guess is bound to happen but I'm really struggling with everything at the moment.

I wish they were both here so much.