And I feel very guilty because I don't feel upset. Even my unemotional little brother is crying down the phone, and my sister is distraught (poor thing is doing a Chemistry GSCE as I type). But whilst I cried yesterday when I found out I'm not really that upset. She had been ill for a few years with alzheimers, so she really wasn't herself, and I haven't actually seen her since Xmas (although I spoke to her regularly). But surely I should be feeling something.
All I'm actually feeling is dread at the arguments I know are going to come over her estate - Grandma made me her executor a few years back as she didn't want my Mum to take over everything. Grandma's "carer" is currently renting her house, and Mum is already talking about not being able to sell it because we need to provide for her. Whilst I don't want to throw the woman out on the street (well actually I do - coincidentally she is the same person who bullied me throughout my secondary education-but I know we have to give her plenty of time to find another house and job) I don't feel that we need to provide her with a roof for the rest of her life just because she was nice to Grandma for the last 2 years (and was paid well to do so). And I have to set up a trust for my little sister, although Mum thinks it would be nice if all the family used the money to buy a holiday home together - yeah right. I just know it's all going to get very nasty, especially between my Mum and Aunt - and I think Grandma did too which is why she wanted me to sort it all out.