Can't stop thinking about dead Ex

[ThisLittlePiggyHadRoastBeef]

He died 1.5years ago, he was just 28.

We were together for 7 years, all of my teenage and young adult years. We split up mutually after steadily growing apart. This was a few years before he passed away.

We stayed in contact, albeit sparsely. He was doing well in life and I enjoyed reading about his achievements.

Im still very close with his parents, visit them often. They have met DH and I take DD to visit with me when I can. They are, of course, devastated.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I seem to think about him daily, I dream about him often. Is this just the way it will be? It's not something I want to bring up with DH (for obvious reasons, although he was very supportive and empathetic when he died). I would feel it strange for me to talk about him with anyone really, except his parents.

It's not just fond memories I have, I think of the times I was sad with him mainly. Is that strange? I feel guilty about it. And I feel so sad about him too, he was so talented. He had so much to give.

I'm annoyed I didn't keep things from our relationship, I had done (at my mums house) but I think I must have binned it all. Would have loved some things to show/give to his mum.

He wrote me a poem when we were about 15. I had it framed and I was sure it was at my mums house but I can't find it anywhere

you may have split up, but in relatively friendly terms, but he was a big part of your life. You are grieving, it's perfectly normal and so are the feelings you are having. Please don't feel guilty, you have nothing to be guilty about.

You may find it helpful to talk to someone about this, don't know where you are, but this could be a starting point:

www.counselling-directory.org.uk/bereavement.html

Thank you for replying, I'll have a look at the link. I worry people will think I'm just being dramatic.

I still can't get my head around the fact he is no longer on this Earth.

Just go with it. It will pass.

I think about my ex husband who died last year.

He wasn't a nice man and we'd been split up for nearly thirty years but I was terribly shaken when I heard he was terminally ill.