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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

Feel so sad

47 replies

Miriam2 · 11/06/2004 20:13

Wasn't intending to post but feel so sad tonight. My MIL is in the last few hours of life, dh is there by her bedside and I am here with the kids and halfway through a bottle of wine. Feel so sad for dh, his dad is already dead and he's had so much to cope with recently. She's been a brilliant MIL, great host and cook and totally non-judgmental re: childrearing- and I have to say cos my kids are the youngest grandchildren, they were always spoilt rotten. When we were 'courting' she made me feel so welcome, going to stay was like going to a hotel! When we got engaged, she said 'Welcome to the gang'

I will miss her so much.

OP posts:

garysgirl · 15/06/2004 11:17

hello miriam2
so sorry for what you and your family are going through, remember all the good times and although i don't know how you view things i believe she will be watching over you and watching your children grow. take care.

Marina · 15/06/2004 11:24

Glad she is in such loving hands to the end, she sounds like a wonderful person. Thinking of you all XXX

CountessDracula · 15/06/2004 11:43

Miriam I am so sorry that your mil is dying - she sounds like a very special woman. I am going through something similar with my stepfather at the moment so I know how you feel. Hope that the end is peaceful

Original poster

Miriam2 · 15/06/2004 16:09

Thanks to you all, it really helps. Sorry you are going through a tough time too, countessdracula, I hope your stepfather is comfortable and surrounded by love

OP posts:

Original poster

Miriam2 · 17/06/2004 20:33

Believe it or not my dear MIL is still with us after we were told she wouldn't make it through last weekend. Obviously she is terribly weak and asleep all the time- she must have the constitution of an ox! She was always hale and hearty actually. It's been a tough week for dh physically, lots of toing and froing, juggling work etc, but I think he's come to a sort of acceptance being able to spend the last days with her. He feels grateful she's lead a full & happy life and is still without pain at the very end. It's been good to talk whilst I've been here on my own. Thanks.

OP posts:

Chandra · 17/06/2004 20:54

I am so happy to hear that Miriam2! I have not posted before because I didn't thought I could say anything useful but I have been checking it to see how you MIL was. Excellent news today!!!

tigermoth · 17/06/2004 21:41

I'm so glad your MIL is without pain. Hope your dh is coping as the days go by. You must be missing him.

Original poster

Miriam2 · 18/06/2004 22:16

Thanks for all your support. My typing is all to pot. Dear MIL passed away yesterday, we all accept it was a blessing but it still feels so sad. DH has just gone to bed, completely washed out, the kids seems to have taken it ok at the moment. I'm rambling I know, but I will miss her and all she means to me- I've known her 22 years.

OP posts:

maisystar · 18/06/2004 22:17

i'm not sure what to say exactly m2 but am thinking of you and your family.

xxx

Yorkiegirl · 18/06/2004 22:18

Message withdrawn

marthamoo · 18/06/2004 22:19

((Hugs)) and sympathy, miriam - she sounds like a very special woman who will be much missed

Mirage · 18/06/2004 22:31

Hugs to you & your family Miriam

Original poster

Miriam2 · 18/06/2004 22:33

What is it with men? Tonight on the phone with friends (but not relatives) he had to play the jokey card but I know it's not what he feels-he's trying to make it easier for other people.

OP posts:

colinsmommy · 18/06/2004 22:38

My husband just lost his brother in a fire, and he is being the same way, for the sake of his family, I guess. I don't understand at all. I guess that is just their way of coping. Hugs to you, Miram2. Sorry for your loss.

Chinchilla · 18/06/2004 22:51

Miriam - sorry Hope you and your dh are 'ok'.

suedonim · 19/06/2004 01:23

I'm sorry to hear your sad news, Miriam, and am thinking of you all.

ChicPea · 19/06/2004 01:29

Sorry to read this Miriam2. Agree with Colinsmummy, you were lucky to have such a fantastic MIL.
Just read Shrub's posting and it made me cry even though I haven't lost anybody. Very poignant Shrub.

sobernow · 19/06/2004 01:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shrub · 19/06/2004 08:23

so sorry miriam2. you must all be feeling so raw. walking was my salvation during that time (still is)that and lots of sleep though i imagine it will be difficult with children. people grieve in all different ways and laughter may be one of them - the body dealing with the shock or just to celebrate and remember the good times. be kind to yourselves and hold on to the fact she has left such a wonderful gift for you - your husband! take care x

tigermoth · 19/06/2004 17:08

thinking of you, your dh and children.

tigermoth xxx

lars · 19/06/2004 18:21

Miriam2 just caught up with your thread, so sorry to hear that your MIL has passed away.

Think of the good times and just be there for dh. larsxx

Momp · 19/06/2004 18:36

Miriam2 - it wasn't until I read your thread that I realised how precious my MIL is to me and my family.

Thoughts are with you and yours right now xxxx

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