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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

Struggling. Friends funeral today

16 replies

mawi · 07/09/2016 09:51

I am meant to be getting ready here to go to my friends funeral. It is in an hour. I am just sat here wondering why life is so cruel. She had so much to live for but she couldn't see that. I am so so sad. The whole town is in shock. Her family are destroyed. I went through this last year with my sister and I know what they are going through and what they will go through and that makes it worse. Before last year I could sympathise and say that's terrible but now I know how terrible it is, my heart is truly broken for them. It is horrible watching all these people I love crumble all around me again. And I am crumbling too so can't help anyone else. It is too raw for me, too real, too close to home. I am not strong enough yet to deal with death let alone another horrible tragic suicide. I have being crying constantly. I just need to get through the next few hours.

Please anyone struggling get some help please.

This pain is horrendous.

OP posts:

TheDuchessofDukeStreet · 07/09/2016 09:58

Hello. Offering a hand to hold, although I don't have any of the answers. I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure your friends family will be glad you are there. X

EmeraldIsle100 · 07/09/2016 10:02

You poor thing, you must be feeling awful. Do you really have to go to the funeral? Perhaps it is just a bit much given the loss of your sister. If you really can't face it stay at home.

You can always write a letter to the family in the next few days. They will get strength from your words as they know that you have experienced the pain they are feeling.

If you really feel that you have to go to the funeral make yourself a cup of tea with some sugar in it which will help with shock. Try and eat a little bit of toast if you can. Then just get dressed on automatic pilot and go to the funeral.

You really don't have to go if it is too much.

I will be thinking about you and hope you get through this day x

TheDuchessofDukeStreet · 07/09/2016 10:13

Definitely don't feel you have got to go, sweetheart. Is there anybody with you today you can be with or who could come over if you need them now or later?

I will light a candle for your sister and friend tonight.

lilypond1 · 07/09/2016 10:16

I have no advice to offer you, sorry. But be kind to yourself mawi, if you don't feel strong enough I think you should not go to the funeral

TheDuchessofDukeStreet · 07/09/2016 13:42

How are you getting on Mawi?

Original poster

mawi · 07/09/2016 14:57

Well I went. Got through it. Just home and going to have a shower and get out of these clothes. It was so sad but I am proud of myself that I have done it. I will never be the same person I was a year ago and rebuilding my life has being so hard but I am and I will. Another family has started on the path now. They will never be the people they were but hopefully they will find their way.
Thank you all for your kind words this morning. I got through it & I am calm now.

OP posts:

EmeraldIsle100 · 07/09/2016 17:39

Well done, that can't have been easy. That was incredibly brave of you and the family will be very grateful for your support.

You are a wonderful example of someone trying their best against the odds to make life better for yourself and for others.

Take care of yourself.

Original poster

mawi · 07/09/2016 17:53

Thank you so much

OP posts:

TheDuchessofDukeStreet · 07/09/2016 21:55

Wishing you all the best. X

FadedRed · 07/09/2016 22:09

Very brave thing to do, to help another family despite the heartache of your own experience. Bless you.

Badgoushk · 07/09/2016 22:12

Thinking of you xxx

Original poster

mawi · 08/09/2016 01:52

Thank you all for your kind words. I went out tonight with my friends and we had a lovely evening just being together. I have some wonderful friends and my DH who has being a rock. It has being a very sad day for us all.

But please again for anyone struggling get help, the heartbreak left behind from suicide is unbearable.

OP posts:

AndDontCallMeShirley · 08/09/2016 02:17

Very courageous of you to attend with it exasperating the emotions of losing your sister,and such a lovely thing for you to do for your friend .

Sounds like you have good support around you.

Thinking of you.

EmeraldIsle100 · 08/09/2016 23:00

You sound like lovely people. You are so kind to think of others who are struggling when you are struggling yourself. A friend of mine went through this recently with her son and the pain is incomprehensible.

I am delighted that you are getting support from your loved ones. People like you make the world a better place.

MollyHopps · 16/09/2016 20:04

mawi

Just, I know how you feel.

Musicaltheatremum · 18/09/2016 20:09

Suicide is awful for those left behind. My colleague at work lost his son to suicide 10 years ago. I lost my husband to a brain tumour 4.5 years ago.
Sometimes I cry more for him than for me. I remember when his daughter got her standard grade(year 11) results the year he had died. I had to go away and cry as I knew how much this meant to him. So terribly sad that these people are so tormented they think this is the only way out. Hugs to everyone.

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