Silly things that really get to you....

[pinktransit]

It's been just over 10 months now since DP died. Mostly I'm doing okish - I function, put a good face on most of the time, socialise, get on with things. But, oh god, every so often something comes and hits so hard that I just want to stop. Stop the world and get off, and make this not happen.
This week it was the BBC news story of the graffiti on the M6 bridges about Pies. I can't count the number of times that Pete and I wondered about it - we drove under those bridges every time we went up North or down South (depending on who's weekend it was). I want to talk to him about it, and I can't. I want to raise a glass with him to finally knowing, and to grin each time I drive under the bridge.
Masterchef was in Haworth last night - Pete and I did the touristy thing not long ago - the house (now a museum), and the village, got told off in the museum for reaching over an invisible line, and Pete told me off for misusing one of the interactive displays. Well, if you will have a felt board with velcro words, then people will make silly sentences of them :-)
I need to share a giggle with him over those memories.
So, today the mask is slipping a bit. I can't sit and cry because I'm at work, but I really want to.
Still miss him, every hour of every day.

Oh I'm so sorry. Not sure what to say but grief isn't linear in that you get a bit better every day, it's very up and down. Be kind to yourself and maybe worth looking into cruse orther supportive organisations as well as here. Hope you have rl support. I'm sorry for your loss.

Many , pinktransit, and sorry for your loss.

I'm way behind you as my DH only died about three weeks ago.

The first time I barred the front door, only done when everyone is home got to me.

I know what you mean about the silliness, the need to share memory.

I'm not sure you get over it really - it comes in huge waves - sometimes it's the little things you miss - and other think you've moved on or should have by now.

DFriend is in a similar situation and is just shutting people out - most have walked away - I'm still here when she's ready - whenever that might be.

Thank you for your kind words.

echt - I'm so sorry, I've read some of your threads and your husband sounds like he was an amazing man. There was a thread about grief coming in waves, and it's so true - I'll see if I can find it, as it comforted me in the early days and weeks. Knowing that others had trodden if not exactly the same road, but a similar path, and were surviving helped. If they could survive, then chances are that I would too. It's bloody hard though. One thing I will say is that it gets easier. Not better (not yet anyway), but it is easier. I think that I've gone from missing him and hurting and crying pretty much every second of every day, through every minute of every day to where I am now, where it's most hours of most days. I can think of him and smile, although there are still a lot of tears. And silly things still catch me.
Codyking - I'm sorry for your friend, she will need you at some point if not just yet. Just keep being there.
Scatter - thank you. I have family and friends, my daughters have been amazing. I'm not good at asking for help though, so I'll post on here every so often when it gets hard :)

Big things are tough too - his son got married this weekend. He'd was so delighted when they got engaged, and would have been so happy for them. Another hurdle, another wave. I will survive this one too. xx

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/2507594-How-to-deal-with-grief

I was inspired to come back to this board as one of the songs played at my brother's funeral 2 years ago just came on the radio. It's so difficult.

to all of us xxxx