Is it to late for counselling?

[canella]

Not sure what i want to say in this thread so i'm sorry if it sounds a bit waffly. My mum died when i was 9 (i'm now 32) and i just dont think i ever really dealt with it. My dc3 is now 5 months old and my sadness is coming back all over again - i feel sad when each of the children are this kind of age - i feel sad that i dont have a mum to share all the kids stuff with - the good bits and the bad. No-one ever talks about her in the family which isnt helping the sadness that i have. Is is too late to see a bereavement counseller? i think they would think i was wasting their time so far past the death. I can talk about it with my dp but both his parents are alive so i dont think he quite understands. or should i go down the route of seeing a regular counseller - think i really need to talk to someone.

Sadness can resurface many years down the line. No bereavement or any other counsellor will ever tell you it is too late to talk to someone about your mum dying when you were young.
Dh was overwhelmed by his feelings about his dad dying young, after we had a stillbirth followed very closely by another pregnancy. He had not actively thought about the death of his dad for 30 years
I saw a brilliant psychotherapist for counselling after stillbirth. She was not a specifically bereavement counsellor but she was wonderful and it really helped.
I hope you find someone canella. I know from dh how awful unresolved grief over the loss of a parent can be XXX

its never tOO late. i am doing a course in counselling skills and from all that i havelearnt so far... i can asure you that it is never too late.from what i can see the fact that you feel that u may actually be able to talk to someoneis a positive sign!!

thanks for your reassurance - how do you go about finding a good counseller? and how much would you have to pay - money a bit tight now i'm at the end of my maternity leave!think if i can talk it over with someone then it might hepl me bring it up in conversation with my family.

Ask your GP for a list of local counsellors to whom they make referrals canella

Or look on this website BACP and go to the link Find a Therapist

Best of luck

canella

It is never "too late" to see a bereavement counsellor.

CRUSE are very good and you could always talk to them. Their web address is www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk

i know a bit about this field. please feel free to cat me. endorse the cruse recommendation.

I have a friend who in her thirties saw a coucelor so she could talk about her mum who had died when she was about 12. It really helped her. It's never too late.

Never too late to talk things out IMO.

Message withdrawn

you poor thing - there is something about having children that seems to bring back unresolved issues - I hope you find the help you need and well done for being brave enough to seek out a counsellor.

thnks to all of you - glad you dont all think i'm beyond help. there's not a cruise centre in my local area so i think i'm going to speak to the gp about it. there's a notice in the gp practice saying there is a counsellor in the practice but i'm not sure if its one of the staff that i know - think i would rather talk to a stranger. will let you know how i get on.

just a quick update - saw the gp today - they have a counselling service throught out the town who do some sessions at the practice - he was really good - very worried that i had PND. So i've been referred- not sure what counselling involves but hopefully it will finally let me deal with my grief from 23 years ago.
Thanks for all the encouragement - dont think i would have asked to be referred without it xx