Expected loss of my sister

[Inyournightdress]

My sister passed away last week. She has suffered with ms for the last 18 years and so in a way this is not a shock. She has deteriorated rapidly over the last couple of years. She always spoke about going to dignitas. When she got an infection again the doctor warned us all she might not be able to fight off this one. This wasn't a shock and I do feel that it is for the best. She's no longer in pain.

So why do I feel so utterly devestated and taken aback? I knew this was coming so why do I feel totally blindsided?

Sorry OP I saw your post last night soon after you had posted it, then my DS needed attention and I didn't manage to reply. Just woken and found I had left it open on your post. I just wanted to say so sirry for your loss. IME it doesn't make any difference how expected it is, you have reached the stage where you have now lost your dear sister and your loss is no less because it was expected, because you never give up hope, and because you now have to experience the painful knowledge that it has actually happened. Hope you have friends and family you can turn to now.

Because you are blindsided. It doesn't matter that her death was expected. The end, when it comes, is always a shock. The fact that your sisters death was expected does not make her loss any less devastating. Please don't feel that you should be coping better or less grief stricken because she had an illness. Take the time you need to mourn her passing.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. Xx