Just wanted to talk about my brother

[andi0411]

I used to be a regular on here last year- on the ttc after m/c and then on the due June 07. In Oct I had a car crash , luckily the baby is ok as is my dad, but I ended up on bed rest for a few weeks through Nov.
In Dec the police contacted my mum to say that my brother, who lives overseas, had committed suicide- he was 36 yrs old with 2 small children- divorced. He suffered from bi polar or manic depression as it was known but had successfully held down a high level job and maintained super contact with his kids after the divorce.
My mum had him brought back to the U.K to be buried in a local cemetary- but whilst he was in the funeral place I went to see him and it broke my heart. We buried him 3 days before Xmas.
I loved him so much, i don't know why I'm typing all this except this site always helped me re: my m/c's, my ttc and my preg.
I'm going for my 20 week scan in the morning and can feel my baby kicking now.
Just wanted to share this- my grief is still so very raw I hardly know how I'm going on at all.

Oh Andi...ive missed you so much and always wonder how you are getting on. So sorry to hear about your brother, suicide is a terrible thing and so is Bi-polar...do you remember im a mental health nurse? So sorry for your family too.

On a brighter note im so pleased for your baby...thank god it's all OK. Good luck for today. Im pg aswell and so so nervous. Had some pain and stuff but having weekly scans. Please stay on here, it's so nice to have you back (Im edie123 BTW!!!)

Andi, you poor, poor girl.

Look after yourself and your growing bump.

Take care,
x
fettle (may remember me as babyfettle?)

Andi, so sorry for your loss.

I lost my nephew suddenly last Sept just as I found out I was pg. I am hoping the birth of my baby in May will bring some happiness to the family in the despair. I hope your baby can do this too. Of course our babies can't replace the loved ones lost, but maybe they can bring some small comfort to our families and our loved ones can live on a little in them IYSWIM.

Thinking of you.xx

Hope your scan went well today.

any news

How did the scan go, did you get some pictures of your LO?

So sorry to hear of your sad loss, hugs to you.

X

Andi......

))))))))))))))))))hugs((((((((((((((((((

So sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. What sad, sad news.
I am thinking of you. x

Andi i have been wondering how you where?
so sorry for your brother((hugs))
i really hope you scan was ok?

you know were here for you!

Hi everybody- so sorry i didn't get back on the net sooner to update you on myscan but the gales we've been having blew down the phone lines round here....

The scan was fabulous we saw our little GIRL she was kicking and waving and very active. Such a relief.

Thanks so much for all the kind messages- I have days where I still weep, but I have got some lovely photos developed of my brother and his kids and have placed them on a wall where I see them everyday. It is a comfort to me.I went to the grave today and all the funeral flowers are dying off so I placed some fresh ones there. As we have to wait 6 months to place a grave stone my step-dad has made a wooden cross.

You have touched me with your messages and i knew some of you would have specific experiences of death, suicide or bi-polar thanks for sharing a bit of this with me. It's so puzzling and weighs so damned heavy on my chest some days but one thought has started to occur to me over the last week and this is that he is now not in any mental or emotional pain. The suicide rate for manic depressives is supposed to be very high.

Thanks again so very much- I am def going to stay around thhis time- I have missed this friendship. xx

Hi everybody- so sorry i didn't get back on the net sooner to update you on myscan but the gales we've been having blew down the phone lines round here....

The scan was fabulous we saw our little GIRL she was kicking and waving and very active. Such a relief.

Thanks so much for all the kind messages- I have days where I still weep, but I have got some lovely photos developed of my brother and his kids and have placed them on a wall where I see them everyday. It is a comfort to me.I went to the grave today and all the funeral flowers are dying off so I placed some fresh ones there. As we have to wait 6 months to place a grave stone my step-dad has made a wooden cross.

You have touched me with your messages and i knew some of you would have specific experiences of death, suicide or bi-polar thanks for sharing a bit of this with me. It's so puzzling and weighs so damned heavy on my chest some days but one thought has started to occur to me over the last week and this is that he is now not in any mental or emotional pain. The suicide rate for manic depressives is supposed to be very high.

Thanks again so very much- I am def going to stay around thhis time- I have missed this friendship. xx

So pleased to hear the scan went well.

Message withdrawn

Andi that's wonderful news, now you can start buying loads of gorgeous clothes

Please do try and find out about the grief councelling though, the first week when baby arrives will be very emotional. It would help to not have some support through it. Don't get me wrong baby will bring you plenty of joy, but the tiredness and hormones can be a little draining so to speak.

Stay in touch, and try to relax and enjoy some time with dh before baby arrives.

Andi - so pleased your scan went well.