Time really is the great healer.

[Bubble99]

And, of course, when you're submerged in grief you can't believe that it can ever be so.

Each day that passes takes you one day further away from the raw, agonsing, physical pain that is the loss of (in my case) a child.

Counselling, memory boxes etc, sometimes help, but IME, the only thing that lessens the pain is distance in time. And time, unfortunately, cannot be fast-forwarded.

I hope that all of us who have lost someone so special can get to the point where we can look back and think of that person and smile, albeit briefly, but smile nonetheless.

Bubble, you are so very right.

xxx

that is lovely bubble
xxx

bubble. I am so, so glad you are in that place now.

You are amazing Bubble. I thought it at the time and I think it now.

(You are right too, ime at least)

X

I wouldn't think of saying this to GGG at the moment. She has lost a daughter whom she knew and loved. One she'd shared life and experiences with. I lost a son whom I'd I never known. There is a 'sliding-scale' of grief. When my baby died I felt like shouting at women who told me that 'they understood,' as they'd had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. And I feel ashamed of that feeling because their pain was, and is, as real as mine.

I can't really imagine the pain that GGG must be feeling right now. Actually, I probably can, because I'm rememebering my pain, the funeral and everything that followed and multiplying it by a hundred, maybe a thousand.

Anyway, this thread was meant to be positive and a source of light in a dark place and I now feel as though I've lost the batteries for that torch.

The best thing anyone ever said to me about loss - and mine was very different and much less terrible, but I was in pieces at the time - is 'you don't get over it. You do get further away from it'. That gave me hope, then, and it was true.

Bubble, don't torment yourself my love. Your grief, like anyone's who has lost someone dear to them, is personal. Your reaction is personal - it is your reaction to the loss of your child. Don't feel bad about sharing your feelings on your own situation, and don't worry that anyone is thinking that it should be applied willy nilly to everyone who has suffered such a devastating loss. I am so, so happy for you! And to me - your OP stood out like a light in the darkness.

(((((((((((()))))))))))))))

And Bubble, ffs, darling, you went through hell. Absolute hell. Nobody is going to grudge you a moment of not being in hell any more.

you're right bubble xxx

Message withdrawn

Bubble you are an amazing amazing person, I am in awe of your courage and strength and I am so glad you have got to a place where you can think about him without torment.

That's it, Pruni. The gaps get bigger.

Bubble, you put it very very well. And I'm so glad for you that you can.

I read something once that really touched me. Buddha's disciples said to him, "Master, help us. One day you will die. How will we manage without you when you are gone." Buddha's reply: "It changes."

My grandmother told me after my mum (her daughter) had died that in time we can carry those we loved and lost in our hearts not on our shoulders. Took a long time, but I know what she meant.