My dad died a few weeks ago and we've had the funeral. He was 83 and had not been in the best of health for a while, but had recovered each time he'd been ill. He went into hospital early February and I think I knew then that he wouldn't be coming home again. He rallied a couple of times, but then just got to the point where his body was worn out. We spent the last day with him and it was pain free. I am so terribly sad now. I am tormented by "where" he is and whether he was frightened before he died, the thought of which I just can't bear. He had a good life, but I felt like a tantrumming child the day he died and just wanted to scream, "Don't let him die". People have been lovely. I can't imagine feeling joy at anything at the moment, I'm just going through the motions and I'm overwhelmed by all the things he'll miss, especially to do with DD and DS, who were both very close to him. Rationally I know that he was elderly and poorly, but I cannot stop crying, or I just feel very numb. Someone said they didn't find it got better with time, as all they could think was, "now it's X months since I've been able to talk to him" and that's how I'm feeling at the moment.