Bit of a setback. Feel selfish and mean

[olittletownofberolina]

(It's foundintranslation, btw)

I was coping pretty well with the mcs I had this summer. We vaguely tried-ish last cycle and I was a bit disappointed not to be pg, but bearing up pretty well. Now a friend has rung to say she is pg, due at the beginning of June. I'm afraid it's done for m a bit. I am very happy for her, especially as she had a mc this summer too, but I think it's hit my quite hard because my due date with ds was 1 June (he arrived 2 weeks early) and so I can very vividly imagine the stage she's at now, remember how lovely and exciting it was to start to feel movement etc., and just feel very sad that I don't have that - I should be pg too right now. Any thoughts on getting through this? It seems right now I'm having to bear a lot of uncertainty (about our move, my job, and on top of that whether we will get pg again or maybe even have a recurrent mc problem to deal with) and although I am still trying to be optimistic I am catching myself wondering when and if things are going to get better. I do feel so selfish, though, to be revolving around myself and not just happy for my friend.
Got to go to work now but would appreciate any words of comfort.

Not selfish and mean just hurting and NORMAL. After what you have been through it's no wonder you find the news of your friend's pregnancy difficult. I have two beautiful children and genuinely don't want any more but when friend's tell me they are pg I still get a pang of envy because I'm never going to have that again (and I hated being pg...go figure).
Give yourself a break sweetpea, you've had a terrible year and a hell of a lot to deal with. ((((((hugs)))))) and here's hoping 2007 is better all round.x

{{Hugs}}

Completely normal FIT. I did IVF in October which didn't work (although period was 6 days late so may have worked and been a mis - not sure) - anyway a friend of mine is PG and due 3 days after what would have been my due date IF mine had worked. It's very hard although am pleased for her as she was trying for over a year.

Also surrounded by lots of new babies and other PG friends - complete baby boom here.

It is so hard to but a cheerful brave face on all the time. I know just what you mean.

Not selfish, just normal like you i thought that i was coping had mc in june, a freind has just told us she is pg.

On one hand i am very happy for her as she had a etopic pg this time last year. On the the other hand ilike you feel selfish and mean, i think as well as it coming up to my due date which is also my dd 3rd birthday.

perfectly understandable - sometimes life just gets on top of you and it is hard to be optomistic.

Maybe tell her - say thanks for letting you know, and that whilst you are you are really pleased for her, her news has also made you a bit sad because of the problems you have had this year. She is probably worrying about upsetting you. Since you have both been through recent miscarriages i am sure you can understand how the other feels.

Hang in there - you will get through this rough patch.

Very normal i think ... I had a m/c in July and was coping absolutely fine. We have now been trying for 3 months properly without conceiving (I know not really long in the grand scheme of things but longer than we've tried before with dd and the m/c) and then suddenly everyone was telling me they were pg.

I now know 5 close friends due in May and 2 of those told me when I was VERY pre-menstrual. I had also had in my mind when we were ttc that May would be my 'ideal' month to have a baby (which is silly. That has been very hard to cope with and as you say, i am over the moon for them but you just wonder why its not you.

Does your friend know about your m/c ? I haven't really told anyone so only 1 out of those 5 know which I don't know which way round is easier.

Sorry thats probably not much help but just to let you know you're not on your own.

FIT,you come across as such a lovely sensitive person,you couldn't be mean if you tried!

Bless you darling,perfectly normal.
It would be strange if you didn't feel like this frankly.

Your time will come,and then no doubt she will feel a little green herself!

A friend of mine told me last week she was pg, then yesterday another friend emailed to tell me she was too!
I was, and am happy for them, but it has made me feel really jealous and upset, abd then guilty for feeling this way. I had a mc last aug, and another this aug. I, like you seem to be coping well, but even my bf doesnt realise how i feel.

I know how you feel! and hugs chick.

Thank you for your messages, everyone. It always makes me so when I remember how many others have been or are going through this.

ah moondog, thank you That's what I keep telling myself, my time will come - and I do usually believe it - it can sometimes be blimming hard being optimistic, though!

Feeling better now - ds is a delight and picks me up every time. Felt quite empty and bereft this morning, though. It's sad going into Christmas with an empty womb that should be full.