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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

my mum died today

32 replies

inlectorecumbit · 02/12/2015 22:08

I just had to write it down..i don't know why l had to post here but l just did. My heart is broken....

OP posts:

MrsBalustradeLanyard · 02/12/2015 22:09

Oh no. I am so so sorry. You must be in shock.

CocktailQueen · 02/12/2015 22:10

Oh, I bet it is. Big hugs from me. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Do you want to talk about it?

DancingDinosaur · 02/12/2015 22:10

I'm so sorry. Have you got any support at home?

MuttonWasAGoose · 02/12/2015 22:10

I'm so sorry.

My mother died 11 years ago, and I still miss her.

I hope you have family and friends with you now for support.

InkleWinkle · 02/12/2015 22:10

I'm so sorry. Do you want to tell us about her?

timelytess · 02/12/2015 22:11

I'm sorry.

SpellBookandCandle · 02/12/2015 22:12

OH, I'm so very sorry. You sound so very sad. I hope you are with people who love you and share your loss. Do you want to tell us anything about your lovely mum? ((Hugs))

BigcatLittlecat · 02/12/2015 22:12

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. If yiu want to share some memories with us! We would love to hear them. On a practical note I hope you are not on your own. Xx

ImperialBlether · 02/12/2015 22:12

I'm so sorry.

CharleyDavidson · 02/12/2015 22:14

So sorry to hear that. I lost my Dad a few weeks ago and know just how unbelieveably difficult and painful it is.

Original poster

inlectorecumbit · 02/12/2015 22:16

She was old and suffering and it was a blessing really, but l wish the last conversation l had last night had been longer and l wish l had hugged her tighter when l saw her on Sunday.
The phone call this morning from the paramedics was not one l would wish on anyone.
Please everyone tell your family how much they mean to you and hug them tightly because you just don't know the minute it will all end.
I want my mum.

OP posts:

EatMeSeymour · 02/12/2015 22:16

I am so sorry for your loss. What was your mum like? Your favourite memory of her?

My mum died when I was 18 and it makes me smile to this day to think of happy memories I have of her.

EatMeSeymour · 02/12/2015 22:17

for you too Charley

SugarMiceInTheRain · 02/12/2015 22:20

I'm so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself as losing a parent is such a hard thing to go through. My DH lost his dad on Monday and it's just so sad. Please try not to torment yourself with regrets, look after yourself. Hope you have some real life support xx

Bostin · 02/12/2015 22:21

I am so sorry.
Don't feel guilty. It sounds like you were in very regular contact.

Sgtmajormummy · 02/12/2015 22:22

SpellBookandCandle · 02/12/2015 22:23

I'm glad her suffering is over. Your grief and pain is so very new and fresh. Please take care of yourself. Try to eat, drink and rest when you can. MN is open 24 hours a day. You can usually find a caring person here even in the darkest hours..xx

lizzie1971 · 02/12/2015 22:25

So sorry xx

Ilikesweetpeas · 02/12/2015 22:33

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you have people around you to support you

HesterShaw · 02/12/2015 22:33

Very sorry OP

It's natural to feel guilty but please don't torment yourself with "should haves". It sounds like you were a lovely daughter and you were there for her when she needed you xxx

margaritasbythesea · 02/12/2015 22:33

I'm very sorry inlectore.

CocktailQueen · 02/12/2015 22:35

You obviously kept in very close contact and had a good relationship. I'm sure your mum was happy you did.

Sparkygal · 02/12/2015 22:41

So very sorry for your loss. I lost my mum a year ago tomorrow, it's still very painful but not as raw as the first hours, days, weeks, months. I know exactly how you are feeling.
Look after yourself, go with what you want or need. Draw strength from those supporting you. You grief will come and go in huge waves - let it.
Take care x

Pipsqueak23 · 02/12/2015 22:43

So sorry for your loss.

Original poster

inlectorecumbit · 04/12/2015 17:25

oh how l am hurting, reliving our last conversation, our last visit, did she know l loved her? She was 91, adopted me at 2 weeks old, she was termed an "older mother" and yes there was a generation gap and obvious issues as l grew up but l had great parents.
I know l will get over this, l know l will eventually accept it as l did my dad's death 15 years ago next week. But it seems harder this time-l feel alone ( although l have a wonderful DH and Dsis) she did so much for me as a very sickly baby and young adult, I want to tell her again how much l love her, how l owe everything l am and everything that l have to her and dad. I want her to know l am sorry if l was a bit short tempered in the last few weeks, l was ill and very tired and stressed but that is no excuse.
She died alone in her sleep in her chair, l should have been with her, l want to rewind the world just 1 week and do some things differently.
This post is so selfish-it's all about what l want and need l do know that but l have the rest of my life to live without her full of regrets. My family and my mums sister and brother said that she was so proud of her daughters and we looked after her well--she was cared for at home despite her illnesses which was her one wish, we had promised our dad we would always look after her when he died. So why do l feel so guilty?
I am pleased her suffering is over but l was not prepared for her to leave me so suddenly.
Sorry for the garbled post but my thoughts are all over the place...

OP posts:

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