Requesting some advice/help really. I veer between feeling selfish and feeling at the end of my own tether… Is anybody else in this position? Sorry if this is a bit long. DH is an only child; we also have an only child aged 6. Very much loved FIL died 2 years ago at Christmas time after several cancer-filled years. DH has been quite absent mentally for that time. He's a sensitive but incredibly outwardly stoic guy, finds it hard to talk about feelings although he's in touch with them IYSWIM. He also has a stressful job. He dealt with all this by taking up a lone workout/sport which he did 4 mornings a week, usually twice every weekend. I encouraged this as felt he would explode if no outlet.
Over the last year it's felt as if he's finally surfacing; he's reengaging with family life and cut back on the lone workouts. Except here we are nearing Xmas and the shadow has suddenly fallen once again. I listened tonight to him telling me the busy work schedule he's got in the run up to Xmas and in New Year; I felt stressed just hearing about it. I've also had a shit year at work and hence am looking for a new job. DH won't talk about how he could change things at work or get a different job any more. He says he gets really tense when I try to give advice. I know i could probably do it better and i should be more patient around recovering from bereavement but I was honestly looking forwards to possibly having some kind of joyful Xmas again with DC1, even if there are sad moments which I understand there will probably always be. And of course I miss FIL too!
I know it's selfish but I've run out of strength, I hate this. DH has thought about but never acted on getting counselling or other forms of help, I don't feel like i can suggest it again. I know it sounds ridiculous given how much other people clearly are able to support each other but I feel I don't have anything else to give. :(