Mother died three weeks ago, I am pregnant.

[seeminglyso]

Hi all, my mother died very suddenly a few weeks ago due to medical error - she didn't need to die and I am finding it very hard to accept. She was only just 63 and was really looking forward to the arrival of my baby. I was extremely close to her and I am heartbroken. I just wondered if anyone here has had a parent die when they are pregnant and how this may have impacted on you post partum? I feel dreadful.

So sorry. This happened to a friend of mine when she was eight months pregnant. I think for her it meant that her grieving process was delayed. Is this your first baby?

I'm so sorry. It must have been a terrible shock for you. Do you have supportive friends or family?

I lost my Mum to cancer at 20 weeks not a day goes by when I don't miss her. She would have loved my daughter so much. She's 19 now. I felt so angry and cheated. Surround yourself with friends and family. Keep contact with your mum's friends. Make sure you midwife and HV know. I am crying her with you and sending hugs. I was a bit of mess but my daughter is lovely and has said she feels my Mum is looking after her so it all worked out OK.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm about to lose my mum to cancer and have very young children. All I can say is that your mum's spirit will love on in your children, they may look a little like her etc. Also, when you have your own child and realise the magic of it, you realise how much joy you yourself have brought to your mum over the years. She will have loved been your mum, will have loved seeing you develop as a baby and a young child, will have loved seeing you grow and get pregnant. You will have brought your mum untold joy and she will have led a life filled with that joy. Her life was not wasted. Cut short, yes. But still a complete life, with love and joy. Lots of love xxxx

I'm sorry for your loss. My mother died of cancer a week before my first child was born. It was very hard and I missed her a lot. At least she lived long enough to knit him the blankie he still sleeps with eleven years later.

I know it's going to be hard for you and I hope you have plenty of support.

Hi, I'm so sorry for your loss. I didn't lose a parent but I did lose a grandparent who I was very close to a month before DC2 was born. It was and still is incredibly hard. I can't seem to get over the fact that he couldn't live long enough to meet his second great grandchild.

It does get easier though, as strange as it sounds my baby's arrival and the business of having two young children to look after kind of distracted me from the grief at times, and I take a lot of comfort in the fact that I believe he is watching over me. Please ensure you have a good support network around you, talk to your midwife if need be. I didn't and I regret it now as I feel it would have been really helpful to talk to someone outside of the situation if that makes sense.

I am very sorry for your loss. My dad died suddenly when I was 20 weeks pregnant.

It was very hard. I felt angry and sad and extremely impatient with anyone else's problems. I felt guilty after DS2 was born that I had not focussed on the pregnancy. I had Ds1 who was 18 months old and I had to keep going, but otherwise I would have stayed in bed.

My mw suggested that it would be better for me not be in hospital for the 3 day blues, which was partially responsible for me turning down a blood transfusion in order to get home sooner. I'm not blaming her at all - it was my own choice, but it was a bad one. I can see now that I was keen to exert control over the whole sorry situation.

I really am so sorry - be gentle with yourself, seeminglyso.

I'm so sorry.

Not quite same but my granny who I adored died two days before my oldest daughter was born, on Christmas Day as well.

I was so torn. I wanted to be happy with my dd but I felt so guilty every time I felt happy because I was devastated too.

Be kind to yourself. There's no right or wrong way to feel. Do what you need to get through and don't try to pretend to people you are ok. Massive hugs.

I was so torn. I wanted to be happy with my dd but I felt so guilty every time I felt happy because I was devastated too.

I felt exactly like this. I felt happy, excited and smitten by the arrival of my second DC, but then felt guilty because I felt like I wasn't grieving enough or in the same way that my relatives appeared to be. I still don't feel like I've grieved properly. Think I posted a thread on here about it at one point.

Understandably this will be a very confusing time for you OP, but just know that it's okay to feel how you feel, you can't help it. If you feel genuinely happy, as hard as it is, try to embrace it. After all I'm sure it's what your mother would want for you.

So sorry for your loss.

DFIL died from cancer a week after I found out I was pregnant. We told him as soon as we found out and I'll never forget how he cried, he was heartbroken as he knew he'd never get to meet it. DFIL and I were very close, and he was an amazing grandad to my other two DC.

DH and I never really spoke about my pregnancy and I didn't want to enjoy my pregnancy. When DS3 was born, all MIL could do for the first few weeks she saw him was cry. It was very hard all round. I do feel DS3 and DH don't have the same bond as DH does with our older two, and I put it down to the enexpected timing of the pregnancy.