Can someone assist me with what needs to be done when someone dies?

[winestein]

I have to organise my lovely Dad's affairs and his funeral. He has at most 2 weeks left and my mum has asked me if I can do the necessaries for her.

What forms have to be filled?
Where do bodies go between the person dying and the funeral and how do you decide - are you given a choice?
How do you find a good funeral director? Are they all pretty much the same?
My dad was a serviceman at the end of the Second World War - I understand there might be some money from somewhere to go to funeral costs of ex-servicemen. Does any one know how I find out?

Any information would be much appreciated.

No advice I'm afraid butjust wanted to add my sympathy for the (impending) loss of your father. Hopefully someone will be along soon to help.

Thanks CoV. It is appreciated.

So sorry to hear about your dad. This site has most things you need to know, hope it answers some of your questions.

Hi winestein, so for you, big hugs.
I'm sory i can't answer all your questions, but the funeral director you decide on will pick up the body whether your Dad dies in hospital, a hospice or at home. Look in your local paper for directors, they usually advertise around the announcements page. I don't think you can organise the funeral until the death certificate has been issued at your local registry office, you'll prob need to make an appt, but sure you can instruct the funeral director. I've just read this back and it sounds really blunt, so really sorry about that, and sorry you are going through this.

Contact your local hospice, even if Dad isn't there. They are likely to have a Social Worker/Bereavement Team/Chaplain. The hospices I've known all have really useful info booklets that lead you through the practicalities and I'm sure they'd let you have one. And don't worry about the Chaplain, again the ones I've known haven't been concerned which faith, if any, you have, they just want to help at a difficult time. Hope that helps, it can't be easy.

Apologies for disappearing - phone rang.

Thank you all so much for your help and good wishes. I will take a look at the sites now.

I am quite calm - his death will be a release for him. He's not my dad anymore and it is most certainly "his time"

Thanks Ruby - I assure you, inbetween the occaisional blub, I am quite matter of fact about it all. (I'm trying to research some fitting poetry atm as my dad was a huge collector of poetry books). I'm also trying to work out whether I would be able to hold it together enough to read it. Hmmmmm.

Useful info about the death certificates - thanks. I really do appreciate this.

Message withdrawn

Thanks Yorkie - yet more good stuff. I hope you are well.

As to whether to speak or not, should I think I might brave it, I will have a stand in for sure.

I found a poem ages ago and have kept it aside for when my Dad dies. Sounds morbid, but it just is lovely (IMHO) I have also told my DH that there are 2 poems to be read when I die, just in case!. Hoping that me or my Dad stay around for a while and sending you hugs for your situation. My mum died a long time ago and as you say, soimetimes it is "their time" to go. Keep strong.xxx

If you want to look at the poems I can put them here.

if he receives a war pension, they are likely to contribute witht the funeral costs and your mum can try to get war widows pension depending on if he receives it now and how much

Probably stuffed then Buktus as my dad doesn't receive a war pension. It doesn't hurt to ask though I suppose!

I'd love to see your poems if you don't mind posting them Jollymum

Sorry to hear about your dad, Winestein

I hope the process is as smooth and non-traumatic as it can be for you.

I appreciate that Greeny, thanks

I want to point out to everyone that I keep going to use the smile emoticon, as I am smiling with all the help and kind thoughts, but I kind of want one with the mouth less curved right now. [slightly straighter mouthed smile emoticon]

Just popped back in to check some lovely mners have found time to give you some advice. Onceagain my thoughts and prayers are with you.