End of an era and moving on

[sayerville]

I lost my Dad 5 years ago and my Mum Valentines day this year. I feel so up and down I think I'm fine then wham next minute the slightest thing can set me off.
I wasn't prepared for the emotional roller coaster of clearing the house, it's taken me 9 months so far (Mum left the house over a year ago). Some days I would just go and sit and cry there.
I decided I didn't want to part with the family home - not yet so it makes sense to rent, I am still not 100% sure,it's a family moving in so that is a good thing I think...
So tomorrow the final pieces of furniture are being taken by a charity and the house ie empty (apart from the loft which I just can't face!) and it's the end of an era, time to let go it feels weird as it was the place I grew up, but I feel I've been on a very long journey and it' been a hard road to walk.
Never a day goes by without thinking of my parents and I don't think that will stop, ever....

Sayer I've been where you are now. 20yr & 10yr for me.
I remember the day I had to say goodbye to the family home, it was almost like losing my identity, a part of me, another part of my life, family even.
It was the place I grew up. Place I felt secure. Place I could return to no matter where in the world I happened to be. So many memories, good and bad, happy and sad.
I allowed myself to be sad, there was no point in hiding it. I was scared of going into it for the last time, but, it had been revamped ready for sale, so the house I remember was no longer there. I was terrified opening the front room door, I half expected to see my dad sitting in his chair watching TV, he wasn't of course and I knew he wouldn't be , BUT.....
As you will be renting the house out, try visiting it (as landlady) when the new family move in. Perhaps seeing new life being created there will help in some way. I know it helped me close a chapter in my life which I was finding very hard. If I hadn't done that, I'm not sure if I'd have been able to move on fully.
Take care.