Please help. VERY tricky situation...

[cab]

Not sure what to do here. Just this week discovered I was 5 to 6 weeks pregnant. STUPIDLY told my mother. Just done yet another preg test and it's very definitely NEGATIVE.
In between times my SIL has told us she's having a miscarriage (reckons she was 2 weeks pregnant), but brother working away at the moment.
She's asked my mum (who stays very near me)to come and stay with her (8 hrs away) for a week for company and to help out with her dd toddler -absolutely nothing wrong with that.
However, had asked dm NOT to tell SIL I'm pregnant - which of course now I'm not. Dm said "we'll see" - which means she will.
Now I know my dm doesn't really want to go to stay with SIL. Don't want dm or SIL to feel guilty on my account later (or earlier). Dm doesn't know my latest news.
What on earth should I do?
P.s. Dm would be absolutely no help to me even if she did stay. (Having typed this out think I should just keep mum?)

[ponygirl]

Sorry, cab, I must be being a bit thick. I don't understand why you can't just tell your dm that you're not pg, you'll have to at some point. Tbh, I think the sooner you tell her the better. Unless I've missed something - perfectly possible!

[bunny2]

cab, I'm really sorry you have a neg test result. Are you sure the test isnt faulty?

Regarding your mum, she shouldnt be telling anyone your news without your consent. It is YOUR news and she should respect that, I'd have no hesitation in pointing this out to my mum. Cant you ring SIL for a chat and bring up the fact that you too have been disappointed about not being pg/losing a pregnancy?

Got to go, be back later

[LIZS]

I'd agree with the others. Just tell your dm that sorry you're not after all. She can read into it what she will but it might avoid any unnecessary awkwardness during the visit if they talk about you. Have you spoken to sil about her situation ? Are you worried that she won't go to see your sil and want to stay with you if she knows ?

[emmatmg]

agree with bunny on the news thing and faulty test, could you or would you do an other test?.
Also would you mum really tell SIL you were PG if she was there to support her through a MC, seems abit heartless to me.

IF you're not and you don't think you're mum would be any help to you than I wouldn't say anything until she been to SIL's. Then tell her when she gets back that it happened (if it has) while she was away, only a little white lie admittedly not a very nice one but will save alot of annoyance for you I think.

[cab]

Thanks guys. If I tell SIL - she's a nice sort - she would tell my dm to stay put for sure. If I tell dm, but not SIL, dm will go, tell SIL and poor SIL will feel awful.
Re gtest - did 2 today to be sure - first one was VERY faint, second definite negative.

[emmatmg]

Donlt tell either until DM has visited SIL.

[cab]

Think you're right emma. Just don't know if I can face the inevitable congratulatory call from SIL! I can ignore the phone but don't know that dh will be able to take it. Rats rats rats. He doesn't know yet. (p.s. gtest = pregnancy test)

[cab]

Forgot to add - as dm took it upon herself to spread the glad tidings I'm going to have to keep mum with a very large family for 10 days. Why is life so frigging complicated.

[emmatmg]

would she REALLY tell SIL you were PG though? Maybe you should point out that it would be abit tactless to do so..........

[cab]

Lizs - yes I was first person SIL told re m/c yesterday except for my brother. Luckily she was the only one who my dm hadn't told. It was db's idea to get dm to visit SIL.

[cab]

emma, believe me I have! She WILL tell her regardless of what I say.

[emmatmg]

oh dear!

[cab]

That's about the gist of it. Thanks emma.

[SenoraPostrophe]

cab

I know exactly the family politics you're talking about. I think if it was me, I'd tell SIL now - and point out that you have your dh around (I presume) but she doesn't, so she should still have your dm to stay.

Commiserations on the test though - maybe it'll be good to talk to your sil about it?