i wasn't on mumsnet when i lost my two earlier pregnancies, but i do know how it feels to pick those scabs.
if it's any comfort, i really dreaded the due date of the first baby and yet when it came round it was like a wee sigh that i'd been holding in for nine months had been released.
it was much, much less frightening and horrible a day than i had thought, i'd really dreaded it and made myself quite sick with the anticipation. it didn't help that everyone in the known world was pregnant at the time.
in the end i found my due dates quite healing, really and truly. you kind of feel like you can make friends with the body that let you down so badly again, iykwim? or at least i did.
i do think about those babies, and dh bought a piece of jewellery for me to commemorate each of them and i don't put them on without thinking about what might have been. but the pain, i promise, has subsided a lot and now i do so with a sense of wistfulness rather than tears splashing down my face.
oh dear, long post. sorry. i hope that your experiences are as healing as i found mine to be. it's a sad time.