3rd funeral in less than 2 months

[PingPongBat]

7 weeks since Mum's death, my cousin also died in March, & my FIL has just died. Hard to find the words to express how I feel. Mainly exhausted, as I have been since last September when Mum was diagnosed with blood cancer.

DH is with his DM (300 miles away) supporting her, I'm at home with 2 distraught teens. FIL was a huge part of their lives, DD is off school today with a migraine & DS keeps retreating into his room. I'm dreading the funeral & am struggling to feel strong enough to support DH & the DCs, but I have to. Need strength from somewhere. Need to ask my Mum but I can't. Life is just so s**t sometimes.

So sorry for your loss.

I found this helpful when my mum died.

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

So sorry for your loss.

I found this helpful when my mum died.

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

sorry, thought it didn't post the first time.

Take care.

Thank you

Oh PingPong I am so sorry.

I had a year a bit like this last year with 2 grandparents and my Dad dying within 6 months.

It's so hard. Much love.

So sorry you're going through such a crap time.

I always remind myself when in difficult times that "this too will pass". Trite as it sounds, there will be a time, hopefully soon, when you can catch your breath and remember all of those people with only happy memories.

Thank you. DD seems better today so has gone to school. We're talking about FIL quite a bit, remembering his sense of humour, his awful jokes, his sayings & I think helps the DCs. Steeling myself for the long journey to the funeral next week.

I'm sure there will be good days and bad days. It's lovely that you're all chatting about FIL and I hope the journey isn't too awful.

Hi PingPongBat, I just wanted to say hello.
My husband and I had a joint funeral in January for his parents who died within a few days of each other. Then my husband died from a brain haemorrhage in February. I have had lots of support on mumsnet to help me through the bad times. Even to rant about the unfairness of it all.
You will come through it xx

Hi Calculators, thanks for posting. I remember reading your threads & my heart went out to you. Life is a b*h sometimes, isn't it. I've had a lot of support on the Elderly Parents board, they are a lovely bunch, full of encouragement, and practical info too. Hope you are doing OK . I keep saying to people that we are 'smiling and going on', as Mum & FIL would have wanted.

DH is back from his mum's, which is great but it's brought it all into focus again. The DCs and I have been in a little back to school bubble of our own this week, kind of 'apart' from the reality of what's happened. DF is coming to the funeral which I think will be very hard for him, and me. He's very down at the moment and was very fond of FIL, so I'm going to be torn between supporting the DH, DCs and DF. Need to think of a strategy to deal with this.

I'm so sorry PingPongBat.

My beloved mum is now in end of life care for a brain tumour and my father in law is playing the waiting game following treatment for brain secondaries, so I feel as though we're heading for where you are at.

I have very young children (1 and 3) and a full on job, and I'm feeling a special kind of tiredness at the moment, as though the life has been sucked out of everything. I was thinking the other day about cultural practices like sitting shiva to mourn a loved one passing, and how flipping impossible they are with young kids and jobs - life just motors on with no let-up even though you feel desperate for some kind of sacred space to actually come to terms with what is happening/has happened.

Today, for instance, I have had a stomach bug from the kids and my older DS has chickenpox - and it sounds trivial, but it is stuff like that which is so hard to handle when your head is bursting. I wish I knew the answer - I suppose that others have managed it, so it must somehow be doable.

Take care

I know exactly what you mean about that special type of tiredness crazyhead. I end up feeling numb with it. And yes, the head bursting thing too. Even little things like reminding DS to look for his lost PE shirt, or DD to take her flute to school, or just to buy bread for packed lunches - it all gets swept aside when elderly parents are unwell to you for the coming weeks and months